USO Canteen FReeper Style FReeper FRiday Salutes Zbigniew~SAMWolfs Dad ....October 11,2002

FRiends of the USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Snow Bunny and SAMWolf ~

[Alberta's Child]

A guy from the Czech Republic is at the zoo, and for some reason he decides to climb into the lion's cage. The male lion looks at him and ignores him, but the female lion pounces and devours him.

The zookeepers rush to the scene after hearing screams from the horrified onlookers. When they learn that a man has been devoured by one of the lions, they immediately ask which lion it was.

"It was the male lion," one of the onlookers says.

The zookeepers shoot the male lion and cut it open, but find nothing inside. Puzzled, they shoot the female lion and find the remains of the man inside her.

Which just goes to show that you should never trust anyone who tells you that the Czech is in the male.

[tomkow6]

Many years ago a friend of mine called Joe worked in the coal mines. He would go to work early in the morning, go down the mine to the coal face and do his eight hour stint, then come back to the surface to get ready to come home. He followed this daily routine faithfully for years on end, down the mine in the morning and up at the end of his shift. Down then up, down then up. One day whilst he was at the coal face he swung his pick ax and the point went deep into a rock. He eventually managed to remove the pick ax from the rock, and as he did so he was engulfed in a deluge of water. He was absolutely drenched by the water, and his work mates remarked that he looked about 10 years younger since the water had covered him. They all tried to get soaked, and those that managed did indeed look 10 years younger. He, and those of his friends who had managed to get covered by the water, were thankful but they couldn't stop wondering why they had only been made to look 10 years younger. Why hadn't they been made to look 20 or 25 years younger than they really were?
It must be obvious that it was only a miner miracle

[Victoria Delsoul]

Thank you, Kathy!

And how great, Sam, that your Dad could be there for the dedication.

I agree.

[tomkow6]

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard. Bob could barely see 20 feet in front of the car.

Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to carry her to the nearest phone.

Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks.

A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone??"

"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a Doctor; come in and I will get him!"

Bob brings his wife in. An elegant man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.

After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting, melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise! He is further amazed as Betty sits straight up!

Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master:

"Master, Master! ... The Hills are alive with the sound of music!

[Kathy in Alaska]

Mr_Magoo, thanks for today's airplane history, the Cessna Skymaster.

[Dakmar]

I'm really glad you liked that. Any person who thinks they are above or below any other person is a fool. Any person who does not recognise divine wisdom is in for a rough time.

[tomkow6]

1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backwards poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count
that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat
minor.
11. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd
dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat

[Kathy in Alaska]

Hear, hear. I liked it a lot. Thanks.

[tomkow6]

...........hahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahaha..........snicker..........snicker.....

.........giggle.........HAHAHAHAHHA..........

[Alberta's Child]

A man is sitting in the doctor's office when the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.

"I got bad news," the doctor says, "You've got cancer, and you've got Alzheimers Disease."

The man stares for a moment while he ponders this news, then shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

"Hey, I guess it could be worse," he says, "Imagine if I had cancer."

[Kathy in Alaska]

My hot chocolate was right on time. I saved a snack for break time, which I didn't have time for today. Thanks Meekie.

[Kathy in Alaska]

So nice to see you. I love the Prayer of Protection. ((HUG))

[tmprincesa]

1.The room with lions. They're dead.

2.She took and developed a picture of her husband.

3. Freeze the water in one of the jugs.

4. You have me on this one.

5. yesterday, today, tomorrow

6. no 'e's

[Victoria Delsoul]

Hiya Souris. I've missed you too, friend.

Well, I could work on a few strategies to get Sam to polka with me. He is sooo easy, hahahaha. I think it'll work. He is willing to Salsa with me although he won't admit it in public. But he has told me …. Ahem… err… I mean, whisper… that he would Salsa with me, so I'm certain he'll polka.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Wow, tmp, good find. Thanks for the pictures.

[tomkow6]

Okay, I'll calling it QUITS for tonight. Unless I find a leather burka to wear for tomorrow's "Oktoberfest", I guess I'll show up

NAKID!

not a pretty sight!!!

May God bless all who visit the Canteen.

May God bless all our Troops!

May God keep safe all our Troops & their famlies!

Tom

[tmprincesa]

Thank you, Kathy in Alaska.
I just decided to search on the Polish spelling of "Home Army".

[Kathy in Alaska]

Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.

GROAN!!