Translation: The police, cluleless as usual when dealing with real crime rather than finding ways to extort money from law abiding citizens*, turn to computerized ouija board developed by Kim Rossmo along with some psychics after first conspiring with the national socialist press to demonize guns and gun owners.
Police Chief Moose said that "I just heard from Sara Brady and she told me it's is those evil assault rifles and firearms in the hands of civilians that cause things like this to happen. Further our department is the beneficiary of decades of affirmative action, and we have the benefit of diversity which will help us bumble along incompetentantly eventually catch the criminal like the FBI caught Eric Rudolph and the unibomber this.
When asked what steps he had taken, Chief Moose said, "We have taken the precaution of adding another 5 RADAR units to patrol New Hampshire Avenue for speeders, and we're planning on raiding a couple of public housing complexes to search for guns.
*Washington DC - one of the first US locations to use radar cameras to catch "criminals" going over 25 mph