Despite equality, women today still prefer gentlemen

The UK Telegraph ^ | 9-20-02 | By Sarah Womack Social Affairs Correspondent

[vannrox]

Despite equality, women today still prefer gentlemen

Working out the difference between chivalry and sexism may be a minefield for men, but most women would prefer them to be more gallant, a survey has found.

While acknowledging that the sexual revolution is partly to blame for the destruction of the old- fashioned gentleman, half of women say men have little concept of social etiquette, politeness or courtesy.

They accuse men of behaving like gentlemen only when it suits them, although that view is held by seven out of 10 men themselves. One in 50 men say gentlemanly behaviour is for "snobs and wimps".

Dr David Lewis, a psychologist, said men who were successful in business and sport were still regarded highly by women. But chivalry and social graces, such as pulling out chairs, carrying the shopping, complimenting a woman on her appearance and opening doors, were often more important than money.

Dr Lewis, author of Loving and Loathing: The Enigma of Personal Attraction, said: "Because more male than female babies are being born, society is becoming increasingly unbalanced.

"This means competition between men for a partner will become fiercer, with men having to work harder to find and sustain a relationship. The British gentleman is on the verge of a renaissance."

The average male could still be forgiven, however, for being confused. Even the issue of wolf-whistling from builders is not clear cut. Women have become accustomed to ignoring ribald commentary and builders are now threatened with the sack if they flirt with passers-by. But many women would prefer the attention and "male honesty".

According to the poll of 800 adults for Glenlivet, the whisky brand, which is opening a male finishing school, it also depends on where a woman lives as to how she defines chivalry.

Women in Somerset and Herefordshire are most likely to complain about the dearth of gallantry, whereas women in London and the South East are least likely to consider it a problem. Overall, one in seven women think gentlemen are quiet, modest and "never brash".

Both sexes thought the death knell for gentlemanly behaviour was sounded during the Sixties. Optimistically for British males, a third of women thought true gentlemen were found only in the UK.

They scored highest for their capacity for chivalry, followed by Japanese men and Italians. American, Australian and German men scored lowest.

Tony Blair is regarded as the most gentlemanly politician. John Prescott came bottom.

[alpowolf]

You're on the money.

[Conservababe]

He is not on any money. Cary Grant was never in Gone with the Wind. LOL

[Anotherpundit]

I was . . just keeping you all on your toes! yeah, that's it.

[alpowolf]

Details, details. LOL. I guess I've demonstrated that I'm not a movie buff!

[Conservababe]

Actually, Cary Grant always seemed a true gentleman and Clark Gable, one that had to pretend. So what, they both pulled it off onscreen, at least. LOL

Yall don't know a gentleman from a lamp, it seems from this thread.

[Anotherpundit]

clark gable, not cary grant.

[alpowolf]

Yeah, I just remembered myself. What makes that doubly bad is that I have the DVD at home.
But not to worry, Conservobabe will keep us straight. Thank you, ma'am...

[nhoward14]

LOL... I wonder how many "Gone With the Wind" fans will show up at your next garage sale...

[Anotherpundit]

I don't know; come to think of it, I never really liked Cary Grant's acting. Always seemed. .wooden.

I think I got them confused because Cary Grant beat out Clark Gable for The Fountainhead, and I think Clark Gable would've done a much, much better job.

[Anotherpundit]

And I make ANOTHER gaffe! that was Gary Cooper. ARRg.

This is what I get for learning all my old movies from late-night marathons on cable.

[apackof2]

"This means competition between men for a partner will become fiercer, with men having to work harder to find and sustain a relationship.

This is a good thing!
Courting is a lost art for many men however the main reason is women
"giving out the milk for free", so to speak.

[alpowolf]

however the main reason is women "giving out the milk for free"

Don't I wish! I know, many men brag about all of their conquests. Divide that by ten and you'll still have too many.

[Lorianne]

I appreciate people with manners and good etiquette of either sex. I hold these persons in higher esteem and give them preferential treatment where I am able. Its not a male/female thing for me, nor for others who value manners and etiquette. Those who appreciate those kinds of things will seek out others with similar values or treat them preferentialy when they encounter them randomly. It's really just that simple.

[Anotherpundit]

Yes, but you're a dying breed. Unfortunately, a majority of people today -- male and female -- are so ill-raised that they generally misinterpret politeness for weakness.

[Conservababe]

President Bush is a true gentlemen to the women in his life. One can just tell by the way he places his hand firmly on Laura's lower back to guide her through the crowds, as if to reassure her that he has control of the situation and is protecting her. One can also tell by the respectful way he treats his mother and daughters. Bush always jokes of his mother, but always compliments her and thanks her for his upbringing. I remember his waving and calling out "hi mom" at his inargural ball like a sports figure on the field. Also, at one of the balls, when one of his daughters lost her blouse in an embarrassing moment, he swung her around and looked frantically for Laura. But, he did not make her feel embarrassed of the incident. Just little things like this are proof that he is a true gentleman.

Now, contrast him to Clinton. Shall I?

[DakotaGator]

They accuse men of behaving like gentlemen only when it suits them...

A little news flash for these women: Since the '60s gentlemanly behavior towards a woman must be earned by that woman.

By their own collective behavior, women have forfeited the privledge of automatically being considered ladies. They have chosen to directly compete with men. They have openly revelled in denigrating gallantry.

Therefore, until a woman demonstrates ladylike behavior she will not receive gallant attention.

"Having your cake and eating it too" never works. Welcome to the world of cause & effect.

[testforecho]

http://www.nomoremrniceguy.com/

[Conservababe]

You, sir, are not a true gentleman. How do you know that the woman you open the door for in a grocery store, a stranger to you, has met your criteria? I am laughing out loud, really.

[RLK]

What they prefer is of no interest. They are getting what they are worth and what they are creating, then complaining about it. If you aren't ladies, don't expect gentlemen.

[alpowolf]

Interesting but wrong kind of nice guy. What this site is describing is a wuss IMHO.