Read this post and Feel Smarter!

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[meandog]

You'll feel smarter after you read these quotes - I did.

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff," --Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president," -Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." --John Wayne

"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle

" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another" --George Bush, US President

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" --Lee Iacocca

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version,"--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein," --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al Gore, VP

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --Keppel Enderbery

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Thanks for the ping Arghy........these are hilarious!

I do feel smarter....go ahead, feel me..........

[Go Gordon]

I'm sure the Danny Ozark one is true...the Phillies have a knack for hiring DUMB managers

I think that quote was actually from Yogi Berra. But Ozark was the one who, in late September, stated to a reporter: "You're not out of it, til you're out of it." To which the reporter replied: "Danny, you're 6 games out with five to play".

[Constitution Day]

Thanks! I needed that.

[Argh]

Bring it on over and I'll see what I can do... Meanwhile, I noticed you over at the Christians eating pigs thread, and want you to appreciate the magnificent self-control I'm exhibiting by quashing two or three priceless remarks at your expense...

I'm dying here...

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Your self control is amazing........did you say you were quashing tasteless remarks?

[cuz_it_aint_their_money]

Here are two more:

"The greatest threat to mankind is the internal combustion engine." - Al Gore "Earth in the Balance"

"...I think you can be an honest person and lie about any number of things." - Dan Rather during an interview with Bill O'Reilly

[Argh]

go ahead, feel me..........

After this delightful offer, I'm quashing a tasteless one or two also, including one that might get us back to the early part of our little tiff yesterday...

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Thank you......

[Carolinamom]

Here's another: "Before I quit smoking, I smoked."

(Local radio host's comment.)

[Doctor Stochastic]

The Bill Clinton quote has often been attributed to Dan Quayle. Makes one suspicious of the others.

[NYCVirago]

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff," --Mariah Carey

This quote is definitely a fake -- it's been repeatedly debunk, and yet it still turns up on lists like this.

[gPal]

thx

[Paradox]

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff," --Mariah Carey

This quote is definitely a fake -- it's been repeatedly debunk, and yet it still turns up on lists like this.

It came from a fake interview that was made up as a joke by some magazine. I still hear this one from various people.

[MeekOneGOP]

I am sitting here laughing myself into tears y'all! I've read most of this sheeat before but it gets me every time...

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.

LMFAO!

LOL !

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

January 18, 1990: Marion Barry is caught by an FBI sting using cocaine in a room at the Vista Hotel. This video, taken by a hidden camera planted in the room, was key evidence in Barry's later trial.

[MeekOneGOP]

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President

[tom paine 2]

put me on. It's muh favorite.

[4mycountry]

I don't mean to be harsh, but there's something I just have to say to the people who said all of those quotes:

YOU PEOPLE ARE STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!!!!!!--Except for you, Mr.Bush. You must have just been tired. BUT THE REST OF YOU ARE STUPID!!!

....Oh, that felt SO good!!!

[Vets_Husband_and_Wife]

MY FAVS!!!! ;o)

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president," -Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President (*HE SHOULD KNOW!!)

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al Gore, VP

[Vets_Husband_and_Wife]

MY FAVS!!!! ;o)

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president," -Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President (*HE SHOULD KNOW!!)

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al Gore, VP