RIP dad. I really miss you. You were the most decent, honest, and honorable man I have ever known. I will never be half the man (or father) that you were.
I love you.
Jack Welch and his wife Jane were at an exclusive country club restaurant enjoying a quiet dinner. The married couple was talking about their next world vacation when a statuesque brunette walked over to their table, put her arms around Jack’s neck and expressed warm greetings to Jack, kissed him, and walked off.
"And just who the HELL was that?" Jane demanded.
"If you must know," Jack coolly replied, "She's my mistress."
"WHAT!!? Your MISTRESS?” She paused to pick up a knife and get her next breath, “YOUR mistress? Well, I want a divorce!"
Jack Welch said, "Well, OK, but you know we have that rock-solid pre-nup that says that if we split up for any reason, you get nothing. Remember? Nothing. So are you sure you want to give up all the mansions, the big houses in the NY suburbs, the Mercedes, multi-million dollar yachts, the exclusive parties with the biggest people, access to Augusta golf course, the furs, jewelry and the vacation home in Australia?"
Jane was silent. They continued dining in silence.
Over at the other table, she stared at a strange woman with a powerful man they both knew. Finally, Jane leaned toward Jack and wispered, "Isn't that Howard over there? Who's HE with?"
"That's his mistress," Jack replied.
Jane waited a moment and said "Oh,” taking a bite of dessert. "Our mistress is cuter."
--------------- Tough game -----------
I'll go and ask if we can play through," said Max to Jerry. The two golfers had been concerned for some time at the snail-like progress of two women, originally some holes ahead and now just in front of them on the ninth fairway.
Max returned after only a few paces towards the ladies.
"Jerry, this is very embarrassing, but would you mind going. That's my wife up ahead, and I can't believe it, she's playing golf with my mistress."
Jerry returned having got no further forward than Max. "I'll tell you," he said, "You are not going to believe this coincidence."