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To: rudy45
If your daughter is infatuated with the wrong things, the problem is with her, and separating her from the boy will not end it. It's not her fault, though, it's part of being a teenager in this era. From the beginning of time, children were considered adults at or about this age. When food was a little harder to come by, children had to learn responsibility at an early age. As soon as they were able, they helped their family in whatever way they could. Responsibility was placed on them - if you don't work, if you don't contribute, our family will suffer. By the time they were 13 or 14, they were more mature than most 20-year-olds today. This is the way God made the world.
But in the last century or so, things have been very different. The increased weath and technology has allowed us to pamper our children into their late teens. There is this belief that children should have a carefree life. "Let them be kids while they have a chance," sounds great, but nothing is learned without having to face some adversity.

So here is what we have: When children are 13 or 14, their bodies begin to tell them they are adults, yet we have not prepared them to become adults. Can you begin now? Not likely. Once this change takes place, it can't be undone.

What is the best thing to do? The same thing you should do when anything is out of your control. Trust in God. Trust him to protect her. Trust him to lead her down the right path. You can control her actions, but you cannot change what's in her heart. God can. I'm not saying to give her complete freedom or neglect her welfare, but you don't want to clamp down on her. For one thing, the boy has more power over her than you do at the moment. For another, you would be, in a sense, proclaiming that you could take care of the situation better than God could. And He has a way of making things rough for those who trust themselves before they trust Him (I'm sure you have read the story of Jonah).

Pray. Trust in God, and, with faith, ask him to protect her and guide her. What better hands could you place her in? Be patient. God says he is longsuffering and we should be too.

I am proof of this. I was raised in a very strict, Christian home. During my teens, I became very rebellious. I was willing to try or do anything as long as it was anti-authority. This attitude lasted into my mid to late 20s. But eventually, I realized that my parents had raised me right. I realized that the values they had tried to give me were the values that would profit me most. Now that I look back, I realize that God never left me during all those nasty years. Why? Not because of anything I did, that's for sure. I would say it's because he received some very sincere prayers from my Mother and Father.

As for the boy, at least he is in church and apparently in a Christian home. Believe me, you could do a lot worse. Don't let him be an outsider driving a wedge between you and your daughter. Make him a part of your family, even if it will only be temporary. Find out what makes him tick. He may only be talking that way to try to impress your daughter, and from what you have said, it seems to be working. He may not be a bad kid underneath. Or, like some have said, she may become sick of him very quickly.
70 posted on 09/14/2002 3:14:25 AM PDT by itzmygun
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To: itzmygun
As for the boy, at least he is in church and apparently in a Christian home.

I wouldn't assume that

I teach Teens in Sunday School. My next lesson is on Purity. Purity is a state of mind and it is not dependent on virginity alone. Purity means that kids understand the problems they face and decide on a path to approach those problems. For instance, don't dress like a whore. I realize there is little non-whore teen clothing but a teen who respects Purity will approach their clothing with a more discerning eye. Parents will approach their clothing with the same eye towards Purity. Of course, Purity is more than just clothing but you get the concept.

Parents should make sure their kids understand the concept of Purity and how it permeates their life.

81 posted on 09/14/2002 6:30:42 AM PDT by AppyPappy
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