The Chickenhawk Datebase

Founded 1756 by Daniel Fowle | Editor: Steven Fowle editors@nhgazette.com - PO Box 756, Portsmouth, NH 03802

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A chickenhawk is a term often applied to public persons - generally male - who (1) tend to advocate, or are fervent supporters of those who advocate, military solutions to political problems, and who have personally (2) declined to take advantage of a significant opportunity to serve in uniform during wartime.

Some individuals may qualify more for their political associations than for any demonstrated personal tendency towards bellicosity. Some women may be included for exceptional bellicosity.

There is another, less savory definition of the term chickenhawk. It is not relevant to this discussion; we intend no such associations to be drawn here.

This list is provisonal. The management of the Gazette is proud to have served the vital public function of assembling the best known list of American chickenhawks, but we confess - we declare and emphasize - that we have not the resources to tend to it properly. Therefore we declare it provisional: we acknowledge there may be faults - hell, we know there are.

Anyone falsely characterized as a chickenhawk is particularly welcome to correct any errors. We encourage every interested American to feel free to nominate chickenhawks, or to fill in missing information. Nominations are solicited from all sources.

We assembled an earlier version of this list by merging two or three less complete lists. We then added more than a score of names ourselves. We posted the list to the Gazette's website in March, where it seemed to catch the public's interest. Twenty or more names were then added to create the list as you see it here.

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Another Sort of Chickenhawk Altogether We realized with a shudder today that with all the noise we've making about "chickenhawks" - who are in general a less-than inspiring lot - we've neglected to mention a self-described chickenhawk of an altogether different sort: Robert Mason.

Robert Mason was an Army helicopter pilot with the First Cavalry in Vietnam in 1965 and 1966. His best-selling memoir "Chickenhawk" will likely remain the definitive portrayal of the war as seen from the pilot's seat of a Huey.

In 1984, when Mason's "Chickenhawk" was on the New York Times best seller list, its author was in prison for trying to sail a boat full of marijuana into the country. How an ace Army helicopter pilot became a drug smuggler is revealed in Mason's second book, "Chickenhawk: Back in the World."

It will come as no surprise to Mason's fellow veterans that PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - had something to do with the course of his life after the war. Mason's aptly-named wife Patience wrote a valuable book of her own, Recovering From the War: A Guide for all Veterans, Family Members, Friends, and Therapists, published by Viking in 1990.

The fact that the term "chickenhawk" applies to belligerent draft dodgers like Saxby Chambliss and Tom Delay, and to men like Robert Mason, is, as far as we can tell, simply further proof that if you follow something to its extreme, you may meet its opposite.

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Chickenhawk Headquarters Name Employer Year Born Relevant Conflict Avoided Lame Excuse Preferred Activity Bush, George W Citizenry 1946 Vietnam A.W.O.L. Cheney, Dick Citizenry 1941 Vietnam "had other priorities"

Barking Head Brigade Name Employer Year Born Relevant Conflict Avoided Lame Excuse Preferred Activity Hume, Britt Faux TV 1943 Vietnam Keyes, Alan Faux TV 1950 Vietnam Harvard Limbaugh, David Radio? 1952 Vietnam National Guard Limbaugh, Rush Radio 1951 Vietnam anal cysts Matthews, Chris MSNBC unk Vietnam Peace Corps? Reagan, Michael Radio? unk Vietnam

The Bureaucratic Battalion Name Position Year Born Relevant Conflict Avoided Lame Excuse Preferred Activity Abraham, Spencer Energy Sec. 1952 Vietnam Harvard Law Abrams, Elliott State Dept. 1948 Vietnam bad back college, grad school Bolton, John State Dept. 1948 Vietnam Card, Andrew High-Level Flunky 1947 Vietnam Evans, Don Commerce Sec. 1946 Vietnam Sigma Alpha Epsilon Hutchinson, Asa Drug Tsar 1950 Vietnam Perle, Richard Bureaucrat unk Vietnam Pitt, Harvey Bureaucrat unk Vietnam Law school Stockman, David Budget-Boy 1946 Vietnam Thompson, Tommy Bureaucrat 1947 Vietnam National Guard Walters, John Drug Tsar unk Vietnam Wolfowitz, Paul Bureaucrat unk Vietnam

JAG Name Position Year Born Relevant Conflict Avoided Lame Excuse Preferred Activity Ashcroft, John "Justice" 1942 Vietnam teaching business ed Kennedy, Arthur Judge of sorts 1936 Vietnam lawyering Olson, Ted Solicitor General unk Vietnam Scalia, Antonin Associate Justice Vietnam Starr, Ken Persecutor 1947 Vietnam psoriasis Thomas, Clarence Tool 1948 Vietnam

The Politicians Platoon Name Franchise Year Born Relevant Conflict Avoided Lame Excuse Preferred Activity Armey, Dick US House (R-Tex.) 1940 Vietnam attending college Barr, Bob US House (R-Ga.) 1948 Vietnam Bartlett, Roscoe US House (R-MD) 1926 WWII Bauer, Gary None 1946 Vietnam Blunt, Roy US House (R-Mo.) 1950 Vietnam Bush, Jeb Gov. - Fla. 1953 Vietnam Chambliss, Saxby US House (R-Ga.) 1943 Vietnam bad knees running Craig, Larry Senator (R-Idaho) 1945 Vietnam DeLay, Tom US House (R-Tex) 1947 Vietnam attended grad school Engler, John Gov. - Mich. 1948 Vietnam "too fat," by 8 lbs. Gingrich, Newt ex-US House (R-Ga.) 1943 Vietnam attended grad school Giuliani, Rudy ex-Mayor, NYC 1944 Vietnam Gramm, Phil Senate (R-Tex.) 1942 Vietnam marriage deferment Hastert, Dennis US House (R-Ill.) 1942 Vietnam bad knees wrestling coach (huh?) Hutchinson, Tim Senate (R-Ark.) 1949 Vietnam Jackson, Henry Senate (D-Wash.) 1912 WWII Keating, Frank Gov. - Okla. 1944 Vietnam Kemp, Jack ex-US House (R-NY) 1935 Vietnam bum knee football Lott, Trent Senate (R-Miss.) 1941 Vietnam cheerleader McConnell, Mitch Senator (R-Ky.) 1942 Vietnam lawyering Nickles, Don Senator (R-Okla.) 1948 Vietnam cushy Guard slot Quayle, Dan Veep 1947 Vietnam National Guard Racicot, Mark Party Boss 1948 Vietnam Law School Reagan, Ronald Prez 1911 WWII Hollywood Romney, Mitt None yet 1947 Vietnam BYU Souder, Mark US House (R-IN) 1950 Vietnam Stone, Roger Consultant 1952± Vietnam Weber, Vin Politician 1952 Vietnam Weld, William ex-Gov. - Mass. 1945 Vietnam

The Propaganda Platoon Name Employer Year Born Relevant Conflict Avoided Lame Excuse Preferred Activity Ailes, Roger Faux TV 1940 Vietnam Barnes, Fred Cable unk Vietnam Bartley, Robert Wall St. unk Korea? Blitzer, Wolf CNN 1948 Vietnam Buchanan, Pat Syndic. 1938 Vietnam bad knee Buckley, Christopher Unk. 1952 Vietnam Feder, Don Syndic. unk Vietnam law school Forbes, Steve News Baron 1947 Vietnam Gottlieb, Alan Syndic. unk Vietnam National Guard Hannity, Sean Faux TV unk post-Vietnam Harvey, Paul Syndic? 1918 WWII Kristol, William Vanity Press unk Vietnam Medved, Michael Syndic? 1948 Vietnam see "instead" taught 3rd grade Olasky, Marvin U-Texas J-School 1950± Vietnam O'Reilly, Bill Faux TV 1949 Vietnam O'Rourke, P.J. Self-Amused 1947 Vietnam Rivera, Geraldo Faux TV 1943 Vietnam Snow, Tony Faux TV unk Vietnam Spielberg, Steven La-La Land 1946 Vietnam Stallone, Sylvester La-La Land 1946 Vietnam private girls school Stein, Ben Comedy Channel 1944 Vietnam attended law school Tyrrell, R. Emmett Propagandist unk Vietnam Wayne, John Propagandist 1907 WWII Will, George Propagandist 1941 Vietnam Divinity School

New Hampshire Notables Name Position or Employer Year Born Relevant Conflict Avoided Lame Excuse Preferred Activity Bass, Charlie Politician 1952 Vietnam Carmen, Gerald DC Lobbyist 1930 Korea college Chandler, John PH Ancestors? 1911 WWII pencil pushing Douglas, Chuck Unk 1942 Vietnam Finnegan, Jim Bill Loeb 1930 Korea disk jockey Gregg, Judd Politician 1947 Vietnam bad knees, acne college Lessner, Dick Bill Loeb unk Vietnam divinity school Loeb, William Beelzebub 1905 WWII McQuaid, Joe Bill Loeb 1949 Vietnam "trick shoulder" copy boy Rath, Tom Legal clients 1945 Vietnam law school Thomson, Meldrim Taxpayer 1912 WWII pencil pushing Thomson, Robb Taxpayer 1952 Vietnam Thomson, Peter Taxpayer 1941 Vietnam Tibbetts, Don Bill Loeb 1930 Korea disk jockey

Sui Generis Squad Name Modus Operandi Year Born Relevant Conflict Avoided Lame Excuse Preferred Activity Bennett, Bill Public Scold 1943 Vietnam attended grad school Cohn, Roy Creep 1927 Korea terrorism Falwell, Jerry Holy Man 1933 Korea Gaffney, Frank Missile Salesman 1953 Vietnam Graham, Billy Holy man 1918 WWII LaPierre, Wayne Head Gun Nut unk Vietnam Nugent, Ted Noisemaker 1948 Vietnam Robertson, Pat Holy Man 1930 Korea Rove, Karl Puppeteer 1950 Vietnam many schools; no degrees Sinatra, Frank Entertainer 1915 WWII punctured eardrum

Patrick Buchanan: A complicated case. He remains listed because our judges believe his general attachment to hyper-conservatism tends to negate his isolationist variety of pacifism.

George W. Bush: Yeah, right. He was in uniform. Big deal. See http://www.awolbush.com/

Bill Clinton: He may have launched a few cruise missiles to distract us from a dalliance with a girl half his age, but our judges believe he wasn't bellicose enough to make the cut. Your mileage may vary.

Tom Delay: "DeLay's excuse for having a yellow streak as wide as the Rio Grande down his back is truly imaginative, if you take a delight in the bizarre. The man who believes Dioxin is good for you (again, we are not making this up), claims that he volunteered for Vietnam, but all the spots were taken up by minorities, so he was not allowed to serve. Clearly all those years of exposure to toxic chemicals had some serious side effects on 'Ol Tom." - Esther and/or Jeff Clark

Sean Hannity: Too young for 'Nam, but anyone that bellicose could have horned in on Panama or Desert Storm somehow.

Trent Lott: "Dear Sir or Madam, Please be advised that Trent "Cheerleader" Lott is NOT a senator from Louisiana as you have mislabeled him but rather from the state of Mississippi. We have enough problems in Louisiana without someone thinking this toupee wearing, right wing fop is our Senator! - Please correct your entry and keep up the good work! - Rev. Kenneth M. Kafoed"

Ronald Reagan: A complicated case. He remains listed because our judges believe his bellicosity outweighs his relatively painless service.

Pat Robertson: "[His own] libel suit [against fellow former Marine Pete McCloskey] turned out to be an embarrassment to Robertson. During depositions, Paul Brosnan, Jr., a retired university professor who served with Robertson in Korea, backed up [Congressman Pete] McCloskey's claim and went even further, asserting that the televangelist had consorted with prostitutes and had sexually harassed a Korean cleaning girl who worked in the barracks." --Rob Boston, The Most Dangerous Man in America, Prometheus Books, 1996. Our judges feel his remarkable service in the field of bonehead politics outweighs the marginal service he provided, particularly given his acquiescence to his old man's efforts to snatch his chestnuts out of the fire.

Steven Spielberg: We read his films as ultimately adding to the glorification of war. Perhaps we're wrong. This nomination has been challenged, and is open to debate.

John Wayne: "Another notable Hollywood faker to consider is Marion Morrison. Born in 1907, he decided to jump past his competitors like Jimmy Stewart and Henry Fonda by using his married status as a reason to avoid volunteering for the cause. As John Wayne, a phony name for a phony man, he played a lot of war heroes, while he ran away from anything resembling patriotism, except the pose. - Ray Duray

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The assembler of this information meditates on his own service in Vietnam, in Cognitive Dissonance and Moral Imperatives, or, From One Morgue to Another

While you're here, check out our proposal to save the country from these chicken-livered maniacs. We're still working on an updated, downloadable, printable version of this database, but in the meantime here's a provisional version, as published in our March 22 issue. - The Editor

The alleged "gentlemen" listed in this database are here because they share three qualities: bellicosity (a warlike manner or temperament), public prominence, and a curious lack of wartime service when others their age had no trouble finding the fight. (Sorry, Dan and George W. and Dan Q. - your safe, cushy National Guard slots won't help you now.) The fact that they's almost all Republicans is ... well, curious, don't you think? No doubt this list is incomplete. Readers are encouraged to nominate their favorite overlooked chickenhawks. And while you're at it, you might want to consider subscribing to the dead-tree manifestation of This Olde Rag. It's only $20 a year, you know.

Time was (some people today would probably not believe this) when a "chickenhawk" was, usually, a man (usually in his late 20s or older) who preferred to date or marry extremely young women, particularly those who had just attained legal age or were close enough to it; Charlie Chaplin (who married his fourth and final wife, Oona, when she was eighteen - and just before he was to go on trial for his surrealistic involvement with a late-teen actress who turned on him when her suspicious and possessive behaviour prompted him to spurn her) and Errol Flynn were considered typical of the breed; so, considering his tastes tended to run to young women between 18 and 24, was Hugh Hefner. (One recalls the classic exchange when Hefner, then hosting Playboy After Dark, asked one of the show's cast, a girl named Barbara Klein who had taken the stage name Barbi Benton, for a date. When she said, "I've never been out with anyone older than 24," Hefner quipped, "That's ok - neither have I.")

The fact that they's almost all Republicans is ... well, curious, don't you think?

Not really. The authors of the list more or less admit that actual hawkishness has nothing whatsoever to do with placement.

Patrick Buchanan: A complicated case. He remains listed because our judges believe his general attachment to hyper-conservatism tends to negate his isolationist variety of pacifism.

So he's not a hawk, but you'll call him a chickenhawk anyway just because you don't like his politics. Nice. You're dishonest, but you're honest about being dishonest.

But you like his politics, so you'll ignore the fact that he not only called for but ordered military action for what even you admit were sleazy reasons.

Since you're dishonest in handling that aspect, why trust anything on the list?

Democrats and Republicans whole heartedly support our military in time of war, but as soon as the fighting stops almost every Democrat, including those that wore the uniform, turn their backs on our service men and women. They take away needed funding and spend it on wasteful and addictive social programs and use our military as a laboratory for social engineering.
The Republicans, on the other hand, whether or not they wore the uniform, fully support our service men in war time and in peace time. They support sufficient funding for material and equipment replenishment, for modernization, for training, etc.

Interesting List. First of all, they left out New Hampshirites Rubens and the Sununus (both of them).

As for Reagan, he cheated to get into the military despite being legally blind without his glasses.

It is disheartening when you consider the number if Republicans on your list. On the other hand, when you examine the number of post 1973 (draft era) veterans, they are virtually all Republicans (Buyer, Kirk--drip that he is--, Lindsey Grahm, etc.. There are probably some Democrats, though there are not many.

Personally, I find the dearth of liberals in the service one of the reasons to remain in uniform.

George W. Bush: Yeah, right. He was in uniform.
Ronald Reagan: A complicated case.

IMHO, ANYONE who goes through basic and wears the uniform is not a chickenhawk. Even a REMF like algore.

5.56mm

Truman was a cannon cocker, which during WWI meant he seved way behind the lines.

As for Lincoln 6 months of Militia duty doesn't really qualify as anybody could belong to the militia and he never got more than 70 miles from his home in New Salem, and even then his captaincy was political.

Didn't answer the question about the biggest chickenhwak of all though FDR.

And he didn't volunteer, sounds like a chickehawk.

I read the article and knowing how citations are written and for what I discounted it.

With no medals mentioned or awards listed about worth the electrons it was written with.

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