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Democratic Committee orders coal miners rescue cancelled!
email humor

Posted on 08/19/2002 5:21:14 PM PDT by Larightgirl

Subject: Breaking News

A Senate Committee composed of Senators Daschle, Clinton, and Feinstein have announced that the rescue of the Pennsylvania coal miners has been cancelled, and the miners will, by recommendation of the Committee, be placed back in the mine.

The Senators noted the following violations in the rescue process:

10. Heavy diesel equipment was moved to the rescue site without concern for possible air pollution.

9. Water was pumped out of the mine without first determining if it was polluted, or providing an environmentally safe catchment area for the water.

8. Numerous holes were drilled in the ground during the rescue, without first performing an Environmental Impact study.

7. No effort was made to ensure racial, ethnic, and sexual diversity of the rescue workers.

6. The Governor of Pennsylvania was heard to "Thank God" during a live television broadcast of the rescue, violating the separation of church and state.

5. Several people at this public, government supported, rescue mentioned praying.

4. The trapped miners did not represent a diversified cross section of American society.

3. Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Hillary Clinton were not given sufficient time to make speeches at the site.

2. The Senate was not given sufficient time to determine whether or not any Republican officeholder owned stock in the coal company, thus being responsible for the conspiracy that caused the mine to flood.

1. No one mentioned that Al Gore invented mine rescues.

"Once a diversified group of miners has been chosen and placed back into the mine shaft, the holes will be sealed, the water will be returned to the mine, and the rescue will then be undertaken again, in an environmentally and politically correct manner", the Committee noted


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:
Found this little *gem* in my email today, thought it was kinda cute, hope you do too. And btw.. this is my very 1st post, so if I've totally screwed up....be kind :-)
1 posted on 08/19/2002 5:21:14 PM PDT by Larightgirl
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To: Larightgirl
I thought it was one of the better humorous postings I have seen.

As usual, for something to be funny there needs to be at least a grain of truth in it. There are more than a few truths in this one.

2 posted on 08/19/2002 5:24:31 PM PDT by yarddog
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To: Larightgirl
And btw.. this is my very 1st post, so if I've totally screwed up....be kind :-)

:-) IMHO, you did fine! Thanks!!

3 posted on 08/19/2002 5:33:18 PM PDT by michigander
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To: Larightgirl
Rush read that on his radio program one day last week. He says all good humor has a bit of the truth in it and that adage was certainly true in this case.

You done fine. Keep the posts coming.
4 posted on 08/19/2002 5:34:22 PM PDT by randita
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To: Larightgirl
In their defense, the miners did try to appear to be ethnically diverse, emerging from the mine in blackface. However, some felt that this showed racial insensitivity.
5 posted on 08/19/2002 5:47:03 PM PDT by Contra
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To: Larightgirl
Good job on the post
6 posted on 08/19/2002 5:58:54 PM PDT by Militiaman7
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To: Larightgirl; Freee-dame
Thanks for the post. It is definitely worth sharing - to illustrate absurdity in so many things that government gets involved in these days! Thank goodness the miners were rescued by people who understood the job required and DID IT!
7 posted on 08/19/2002 6:27:35 PM PDT by maica
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To: Larightgirl
9. Water was pumped out of the mine without first determining if it was polluted, or providing an environmentally safe catchment area for the water.

They actually had to have someone waive this requirement.

8 posted on 08/19/2002 6:29:54 PM PDT by knuthom
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To: Larightgirl
No, they only have to go into the mine temporarily so that a new rescue can be overseen by Democrat officials. Mark Schweiker, you see, is a Republican and, thus, made it a partisan event.
9 posted on 08/19/2002 6:41:17 PM PDT by AmishDude
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To: Larightgirl
Ya done just fine - now, to enhance your Freeping experience, be sure and go to Paul Atreides profile page and freepmail him to get on his "ping" list......
10 posted on 08/19/2002 6:46:16 PM PDT by ErnBatavia
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To: Larightgirl
THANKS for posting "in print"...heard this on Rush, and it's too good to just "disappear" into "heard-it-once radio-land"...!!

Good work, and Freegards...

11 posted on 08/19/2002 7:54:46 PM PDT by 88keys
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To: AmishDude
Daschle, Clinton, Feinstein you know the quality of evil men in the worlds kingdoms ain't what it used to be. Two of them ain't even men.
12 posted on 08/20/2002 2:22:28 PM PDT by weikel
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To: weikel
One of them is named . . . Bob.
13 posted on 08/20/2002 4:04:05 PM PDT by AmishDude
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To: Larightgirl
funny stuff
14 posted on 08/20/2002 4:05:49 PM PDT by ChadGore
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To: Larightgirl

15 posted on 08/20/2002 4:09:06 PM PDT by ChadGore
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To: ChadGore
OMGosh...what a picture!! LOL (thanks for the laugh!)
16 posted on 08/24/2002 10:36:42 AM PDT by Larightgirl
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To: michigander; randita; Militiaman7; maica; 88keys
Sorry it took me so long to reply....just wanted to say thanks for the welcome!
17 posted on 08/24/2002 10:40:29 AM PDT by Larightgirl
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To: ErnBatavia
Thanks for the advice.. I would like to join Paul's ping list but I'm not quiet sure how freepmail works... but if you'll point me to his profile page I'll try and figure it out.
18 posted on 08/24/2002 10:48:28 AM PDT by Larightgirl
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