[whoever]

Church Signs

1. You are not too bad to come in. You are not too good to stay out.

2. Come in and have your faith lifted.

3. Come in and let us prepare you for your finals.

4. No matter how much you nurse a grudge it won't get better.

5. Everything you always wanted to know about heaven and hell but were afraid to ask.

6. [At an Arizona church in August] You think it's hot HERE?

7. What on earth are you doing for heaven's sake?

8. Fight truth decay. . .study the Bible daily.

9. Where will you be sitting in eternity? Smoking or non-smoking?

10. Come, work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.

11. I was going to waste, but Jesus recycled me.

12. It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin.

13. If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.

14. This is a ch__ch. What is missing?

15. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

16. If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.

[WVNan]

LOL. Some good ones. I like the things that kids say. Here are some answers that children gave to various Biblical questions.

Noah's wife was called John of Ark.

The fifth commandment is: Humor thy father and mother.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

When Mary heard she was to be the mother of Jesus, she went off and sang the Magna Carta.

Salome was a woman who danced naked in front of Harrods.

Holy acrimony is another name for marriage.

Christians can have only one wife. This is called monotony.

The Pope lives in a vacuum.

Paraffin is next in order after serraphim.

Today, wild beasts are confined to Theological Gardens.

The patron saint of travelers is St. Francis of the sea sick.

Iran is the Bible of the Moslems.

A republican is a sinner mentioned in the Bible.

Abraham begat Isaac, and Isaac begat Jacob, and Jacob begat twelve partridges.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.