Moms Can Be Deadbeats Too

foxnews ^

[chance33_98]

Single dads are sick and tired of being labeled "deadbeats" when it comes to paying child support. And data suggest they have good reason to be upset.

The percentage of "deadbeat" moms is actually higher than that of dads who won't pay, even though mothers are more consistently awarded custody of children by the courts.

[chance33_98]

Of course, it is still the man's fault < /sarcasm>

[chance33_98]

Ping!

[chance33_98]

And update on my situation. I have overpaid 2 years of support and will pay another month or so before they stop taking it out. The X did not tell CSEA that she adopted the kids and tried to get me to pay her money before she would agree to tell them. No resolution yet except they are not sending her the money anymore. The CSEA attorney is looking into the manner. When I said I wanted a refund the woman sounded surprised but said she would note it (They owe me over a year, I was 1 year behind due to layoff). Will update when I know more - if ever!

[chance33_98]

Should be Matter above not Manner, my bad. The courts did not send me anything about the adoption and I could not get info because it was an adoption. The X had all the paperwork and refused to send it in. Now had I done something like that I would be in jail.

[Bigg Red]

And the true victims in all of this are the children, who have no say in having their world turned upside down.

[camle]

"Studies show the average income for non-custodial moms is only $15,000 a year, whereas non-custodial dads average about $40,000 a year. And moms who don’t have custody of the kids often remarry and have more kids, and often choose to not work."

if we live in an age of equal pay for equal work, then there's no excuse why the women can't pull down better wages. And if a woman marries and choses not to work, that is an opbligation for her hubby as well, just like if she ran up her credit card bill. Amazing how gender is a weapon when trying to intimidate men in the workplace, but a shield when getting divorced. In both instances the men get screwed

[chance33_98]

And the true victims in all of this are the children, who have no say in having their world turned upside down.

Which is why I handled my case the way I did. It still hurts at times, but the kids never went through all that crap of being bounced around court sessions and such. Long story all in all, but sometimes doing the right thing is not easy.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

Good article.

Many more men than women have to pay child support, making the overall number of deadbeat dads much greater.

Seems this would be why "deadbeat dads" get more attention. What gets me is how the Courts, or whoever, can give custody to an unfit parent (usually it is the mom who gets custody, as this article shows) and the other parent still has to pay support! Ack! Not to say all parents who have custody are unfit. But I have seen it too much. And I have seen cases where the father will get custody and still have to pay their ex! They have ruled by a "general rule of thumb" (mom gets the kids and/or paymensts, no matter what) for too long and need to look at each instance individually, IMO.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

Sometimes they do, although they may not understand if given the choice.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

What a situation you're in. I take it the info on your profile page does not apply to this, right?

[chance33_98]

Her and her new hubby adopted them. She had not let me see them in 4 years anyway, and was going to claim they were molested by me and my parents as I pushed the issue. Which means the kids would get the royal treatment at the hands of psychs, and my parents would be drug into court as well as others. Of course we did no such thing, and had she believed so I would have hoped she would have called the police, but she was pregnant, getting married, and wanted me gone. After spending money, getting my heart ripped out time and again and realizing I was getting shafted I gave up. Signed the papers in Jan 2000, CSEA just learned I was telling the truth after 2 1/2 years. Her new hubby seems like a good guy from what I have heard from others - and surprise surprise, the two are not doing so well it seems...which is sad because my kids like him (he takes them fishing, their grades are good, and now he is finding out she has been full of lies about everything for years. Sorry about his luck)

[AK2KX]

My 15 year old son has lived with me since he was 4. His mother sent him to live with me when she wound up (once again) in rehab. This time I took her to court and got sole custody.

He has been with me over 11 years, and she was never ordered to pay a dime in support. She also has never offered a dime, nor does she abide by the court order for drug testing in order to have contact with her son. She has not contacted us in 6 years.

So when I hear about deadbeat dads and victim mommies, my blood pressure goes through the roof!

[chance33_98]

Info on that page is my new wife and daughter. Met a nice lady in California and Married her. We have a 16 month old and we are very happy. She is vacationing for a month with family right now (grandma is sick) so I am a tad lonely without the two of them here :(

[StriperSniper]

In both instances the men get screwed

And not even kissed. ;-)

[chance33_98]

PS - here is in Ohio. She flys out twice a year to visit family and friends, one of who has been extremely ill but is getting better thankfully. This wife is night and day from the X, plus she is a red head which I like very much ;)

[apillar]

"A lot of men are afraid to ask for child support simply because they think if they’re asking for child support, they won’t get a chance to get custody," Henry said.

I think the real reason is pride. I've been happily married for 7 years and have two kids. If, god forbid, I ever did get a divorce and got custody of my children, I would have a hard time excepting money from my ex-wife (court ordered or not) no matter how much I had to work to make ends meet. I don't know maybe I'm just oldfashion.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

I worked with a guy who had his ex pull the same thing on him and the courts believed her. So now he is in therapy/counseling by the State he lives in (not here in Florida). You would not believe what they do to him in counseling. He will never be "cleared". If you want details, ask, but it is shocking, disturbing and the State should be sued, IMO. Oh, BTW, it's n Oregon where Kitzhaber is Head Cowboy, so I guess it makes sense...