You seem to misunderstand me, as you are making assumptions that I clearly did not state. Let me clarify for you, since your focus is not on this issue but on the dificiencies you think that I possess as an individual. You couldn't be more wrong about what you think is my stand with the men as I am in no way condoning the acts of these fathers. Personally, I think any person who abandons their children is beyond a scumbag. What I am saying is that you can't make a man stay, and somewhere in the recesses of their psyches these women know it too (it's more than obvious when a relationship is based solely on sex) and they are making horrible decisions for themselves and their children because either they don't know any other way to survive, or they don't care. Likewise the men are making horrible decisions and should bear responsibility to the children that they help to conceive. But when they, be it the man or the woman, just wants to get laid with no responsibilty attached,(either by lack of contraceptives use or by bringing children into this world outside of a stable relationship) then yes both parties should bear the responsibility. Unless they give the child up for adoption, someone will care for the child and meet their daily needs. It is usually the woman who takes on this responsibility. Women and men know the consequences of unprotected sex, since the woman has to carry the child (sorry but the men never do this) the women often get the responsibility for raising the child.
My previous post stated that some women conciously make this decision, regardless of the stability of the relationship so that they can have their own apartment, food, and medical care. It is a cold hard reality, and not something my sexist mind made up, because I've known women who are very honest about their reasons behind the decisions that they have made and they have also told me that the reason they pick these absent men as partners is so that they can get some action themselves, have children when they want to, and yet they don't have to put up with living with a man. Other women make this same decision on a less conscious level. I am not saying that all single mothers on welfare behave in this manner, notice in all instances I have said - some. This is more often than not the case with the generational welfare recipients, and the long term welfare recipients.
In my previous post I mentioned a lot of different aspects to this issue, but you continue to focus on one issue only, that of the women as innocent bystander victims. However, most women bear the brunt of the responsibility based on the decisions that they make, because they are the one to carry the child, as many options are open to them. I am not condoning the acts of these men, but likewise I am not feeling sorry for women who put themselves and, the children they bring into this world, in these situations. Unless they are raped, they have a lot to say in the decision process of their actions and the result of these actions. The only innocent bystander victims in this situation are the children. But once a child becomes an adult they are then responsible for making adult decisions. I am focusing on the sad facts and state of welfare in our country, most single parents on welfare are mothers, plain and simple. Obviously there are always exceptions, and I've known women who are the exception, and I've also known women who are not. Likewise, I've known men who are responsible caring fathers, and others who are total losers that create children and walk away without a care, and there are also men in between - they send support but never see their children. I've known men who are solely responsible for raising their children and women who are absent. I would be surprised if there isn't a situation that I haven't known or seen first hand. 99% of the time, when there are children outside of marriage, single mothers are raising them. However, there is an alarming increase of grandparents raising their grandchildren.
My posts are based on facts and direct knowledge. You can romanticize the plight of these people all you want to, but the "poor unfortunate" scenario only exists in rare instances and are usually the folks that use welfare out of short term need and only as a stepping stone on their way to an independent future. However, that is not the issue related to the original posted article and that is why my focus has been on the welfare abuser.
By the way you can't call me a bigot as I've never made a bigoted statement. My posts have never been about race, as all of the situations that I bring to your attention are based on various races, as I've worked with whites, blacks, hispanics, native American, native Alaskan, and various Asian groups.
So? What is the point of saying this. If you can't make a man do something, then why do we assume we can make a woman do something? Is it because women are easier to target for punishment?
My point is that society demonizes single mothers. But these are the women who did not abort. And they did not abandon their kids. They procreated the same as the man did, but then they commit the "crime" (in society's eyes) of sticking around afterward.
Look at it this way. The kids are here. The woman is providing some level of care. If she were not there, we would have to pay to have someone take care of the kids in the foster care systme (many kids are not adopted). Therefore, the mother is SAVING the taxpayer some money.
As far as who is responsible for the kid being here in the first place, that "blame" is shared by both biologcial parents. Therefore, we should address the problem before conception occurs. We don't like to do that because that would include talking about male responsibility which is a taboo subject in our culture. We prefer to wait until the "problem" is already upon us, and demonize the person who is present and accounted for, and totally ignore the parent who a.w.o.l.
Read this thread. Read ANY thread about welfare. The woman is blamed. Men are completely off the radar screen as being part of the problem. How does this square logically with the facts of procreation? It doesn't.