The next day as I was moving from my apartment, I nearly ran over a bird with my dolly. The bird flapped up to a branch, but when I turned to look at it, I could see it was in trouble. It was a pretty little loggerhead shrike, but it was clearly dying.
I called the non-emergency sheriff's number. The dispatcher said that it should be reported but that the sheriff's office doesn't handle it. I tried one public health number and got a message saying something about someone not setting up an answering machine. I tried another number of another bureaucracy, and they told me to call the number of the place with the messed up message. When I told the lady I had already tried that number, she called them herself and finally got through. I called again and got someone.
When I spoke to the lady and told her about the bird, she informed me that "we are only interested in birds of prey." I told her that's exactly what a shrike is. I asked what she thought that meant. She said that they were thinking it was hawks, crows, and blue jays. I told her that shrikes eat as many animals as blue jays do. She said that if I could find a reference that told that a shrike was a bird of prey, they could test it.
The bird hadn't died yet, but I took my Sibley's Guide to Birds to the health department. After a five or ten minute wait, they let me speak to an "inspector." The clerk had tried to copy the necessary pages, but the copier didn't work. The inspector agreed that a shrike would qualify and said that she hadn't been told exactly what species qualified. She said that the test works better on some species than others. She told me that they could only take a freshly dead bird. They couldn't take it if it were still alive. If it died, they could only take it if it were frozen soon after death. This was a Friday, and I certainly wasn't going to keep a dead bird in my freezer all weekend. She said many people felt that way.
The poor bird at least had the good grace to die before the office closed. I wrapped it in plastic and took it to them. They told me that they would call in about a week if the test were positive. I asked what I should do if it were. They said that I didn't need to do anything and that they just need to track this stuff.
I went away feeling more persuaded that government doesn't work. If these people were really interested in doing the survey and understanding results, I think they would find a way to collect birds over the weekend. I also think that someone should have sent a list of birds and an identification guide to the health departments. I don't expect this woman to know birds, but someone should have told her what was needed.
WFTR
Bill