Scared for their children (Telling Children about strangers)

Just last week, Reynolds and her husband, Jamie, sat down with Hannah and told her about strangers.

"We tried to explain it all without scaring her," she said. "I am very nervous."

On Tuesday, 6-year-old Cassandra Williamson of Missouri was buried. She had been taken from her home and killed Friday morning. That incident came after high-profile kidnappings in California, Philadelphia and Salt Lake City.

But the recent kidnappings that have received media attention are not the norm, said Bill Hayes, a clinical social worker at Bassett Healthcare who specializes in pediatrics, obstetrics and psychology. In reality, he said, family and custody-related abductions are far more common.

Although being kidnapped by a stranger is highly unusual, parents should still be on guard, said Capt. Kevin Molinari of the Oneonta state police.

"Thank God it's not common anywhere, but it can happen," he said. "I don't think parents need to be scared, but they need to be vigilant."

The last non-custodial related kidnapping in the area Molinari could recall was a 1996 abduction and murder of two 16-year-old girls in Otselic in Chenango County.

In Oneonta, the last abduction was 25 to 30 years ago, when a hitchhiking college student was kidnapped, he said.

"You can't eliminate the possibility of kidnapping, but you can certainly reduce the chances," he said. "I think parents have to be constantly aware of the possibility. The burden of that responsibility rests with the parents."

Parents should be aware of the location of their children at all times, Molinari said.

Parents should instruct older children — such as teen-agers — to travel in groups, he said.

They should also tell children to keep the doors locked and not to answer if they are left home alone, Molinari said.

"Parenting is a lot of work," he said. "Parents need to maintain the mind-set that the possibility (of abduction) always exists."

Despite this, Reynolds said she struggles with the balance of warning Hannah of danger without scaring her too much.

Reynolds said after the stranger lesson, Hannah called anyone who walked by the house a stranger.

"She's got the concept down," she said. "Now we just have to make it so she's not afraid to say `hi.'"

Reynolds said she and other parents of children in Hannah's play group plan to role-play to teach safety basics.

Hazel Kurkowski, also of Oneonta, said recent abductions have made her more aware when she is watching her 5-year-old granddaughter, Emily Ahlqvist, than she was with her own children years ago.

"It's a whole new ballgame," she said. "Whenever I take her anywhere, I hang right on."

Part of the struggle may be in letting kids go while trying to keep them safe, Molinari said.

"I know we can't be on guard 100 percent of the time; we can't keep children locked up," Molinari said. "But every year, hundreds of thousands of juveniles are reported missing that the media doesn't have stories about."

Parents can often be the best judge of how much supervision their children need, said Marie Petta, director of the State University College at Oneonta Children's Center in Bugbee Hall.

"You have to know your individual children," she said. "You have to know what is appropriate."

Hayes said parents can still take steps to keep their children safe. And often, he said, the warning, "Don't talk to strangers," may not be enough.

"That's only useful to a certain distance," he said. "Often the risk is from someone who is not a stranger. Also, strangers become friends in five minutes."

He said an overall awareness of where children are, who they are with and what they are doing is the key to preventing some abductions.

"I think it's just an extension of common sense — sensible parenting," Hayes said. "Check in with your child, including looking out the window in your yard."

As a mother of three, I am particularly disturbed by child abuse and child abduction cases. I always keep my kids close at the mall or grocery store, and check on them even when they are playing the backyard.

I miss my childhood, where I rode my bike to the park or the library when I was six. When my friends and I could walk downtown and get an ice cream cone when we were eight. I now have an eight and six year old, and I wouldn't let them go to the park half a block from our house without adult supervision.

I know we can't protect our children too much, but how far do we have to go? Can we no longer let them play in the front of the house with friends because even groups of kids are protection enough? Or read on the front porch swing, even with the windows open? Will mothers always be cocking one ear for a scream ... or silence?

Those who harm children, the innocent children of God, deserve swift and severe punishment.

Well, I tell you, even as an adult, I don't feel safe even in our beautiful rural area city and county parks as a woman alone. I used to go fishing during the day, but I no longer feel safe doing so. I wish I could take my grandchildren to the parks, but I cannot do so.

Why, you ask. It is because our parks have become havens for homosexual activity. My favorite park and lake is located off a major freeway and cruising during the daytime is not unusual. I will not risk myself or my grand children seeing such.

We have let the perverts take over and now we stay home. Is it no wonder that the child molestors feel free to kidnap and murder our children with impunity?

About ten years ago, we had a severe problem in one of our parks where the majority of Little League games were played. Yes, homosexuals would be in the the bathrooms or hanging around the parameters of the fields. It got so bad that the children had to be accompanied by a parent into the restrooms.

Well, the good citizens took care of that problem, then. A number of men volunteered to patrol the park. It seems that a dozen men in pick-up trucks, with racks of guns in the back window, driving slowly or parked....intimidated the homosexuals and they moved on.

we have the same problems here: homosexuals using our parks as a "cruising" strip and a place to have sex with each other. my buddy and I used to go to one of the parks near my house to play guitar and drink beer after work, there are homosexuals everywhere... I finally stopped going there

re : I miss my childhood, where I rode my bike to the park or the library when I was six.

I agree with you, but my biggest fear for my four year old is not strangers, but the traffic.

The biggest Killer of Children today in Britian, is the car.

On my road cars speed by.

Tony

not that easy, I'm afraid... after all this is Rochester.

the only good thing is that you can hang out at the park and due to both all the homosexuals and crime it is pretty much unheard of to get busted for smoking a joint or drinking alcohol as long as you are being discreet and low-key

hell, the stoners and people drinking in the parks around here are more low-key than the gay dudes out cruising.

heh heh the gay dudes don't really want to mess with 2 hard drinking, pretty heavily tattooed guys playing guitar, passing around a joint

either that or they thought my friend and I were "a couple" (UGH GAG ME WITH A FREAKIN PITCHFORK)

either way they left us alone!

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