The Next Kennedy (Kathleen Kennedy Townsend)

The Weekly Standard ^ | 08/05/2002 | Matt Labash

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Alan Fleischmann said the noise on the field made it hard for Townsend to hear: "She knows football better than anyone I know. This is a woman who loves football."

Well....at least better than Dennis Miller.

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Two years ago, at an address to Hispanic activists, she spoke of the need to hire people who "speak Hispanish" because "Hispanic is an important language to learn."

Very useful when visiting Hispania and being able to speak to Hispanians.

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Another wrote of her lip visibly quivering when he pressed her for her position on slot machines (her staff told him she hadn't been feeling well that morning).

Or perhaps she thought the inquiry was about "slut machines," something her handlers hadn't yet programmed her for answers.

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To be sure, Townsend has improved a great deal since she arrived on the political scene.

Agreed. She can now walk and chew gum at the same time....for over 3 minutes at a stretch.

[from occupied ga]

This article is a disgusting, sychophantic piece of dog vomit.

You forgot the barf alert!

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Once a dowdy dresser with thick glasses, she has gotten contacts and smartened up her look.

Snap-on thong?

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She was stomped by Helen Delich Bentley, a salty former journalist who dismissed as "crap" claims that the carpetbagging Townsend wasn't simply running on her family name.

Not a fair contest. Bentley had that nasty campaign trick of being able to complete coherent sentences.

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In the spirit of her grandmother Rose, a perfectionist who used to return Townsend's childhood letters with red-penned grammatical corrections, Townsend has worked with speech coaches (she denies this when I ask her about it, until I indicate her staffers have already let the cat out of the bag).

Speech Coach: "Okay, Kathleen. Today we begin working on pronouncing two-syllable words."

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Consequently, she is a maddeningly erratic performer.

Give Kathleen a break! There's just no avoiding those Bad Hair-Brained days.

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To those who assume all this was the work of Kennedy family wordsmiths, I'd say show me a Kennedy speechwriter who defends the Religious Right.

Toss in a bonus payment for the ghostwriter and it is No Problemo.

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She offers something not to offend everybody, taking bold stands against auto theft, drunk driving, teenage heroin use, and "domestic violence in the workplace." Likewise, Townsend is for child-safety seats, improving our state sewage systems, and having students read lots of books.

Yeah, but she also courageously came out for the Flag, Motherhood, and Apple Pie. All very controversial positions that put her political career at risk.

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Townsend also boasts of her HotSpots program, which she claims has reduced crime in dangerous areas by allocating more police and community resources to pockets where crimes occur disproportionately.

WOW! Why has no one thought of this before????

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If there has been one unmitigated disaster on Townsend's watch, it is her stewardship of the state's juvenile justice system, her chief responsibility. Since 1997, Townsend has championed military-style boot camps to deal with young offenders.

Toss in a TV camera and we have a Maury Povich Show episode.

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As the Sun documented, however, the juvenile justice system remained an underfunded morass of incompetent bureaucrats and corrupt administrators overseeing decrepit facilities rife with violence, staff-sanctioned fight clubs, and inmate suicides.

KKT saw this report and is still trying to figure out where downside is.

[PJ-Comix]

As the Sun documented, however, the juvenile justice system remained an underfunded morass of incompetent bureaucrats and corrupt administrators overseeing decrepit facilities rife with violence, staff-sanctioned fight clubs, and inmate suicides.

KKT saw this report and is still trying to figure out where the downside is.

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While there have been some cosmetic improvements, and Townsend has said, "I take responsibility..."

"...YOU take care of it."

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"I walked out the door, and she stood there with people ooh-ing and ah-ing over her for 25 minutes," he said. "But she didn't have time to testify."

Hey, let's get our priorities straight here. KKT has to make allowances to permit some grovel time for her fans.

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"There's not one honest Democrat that would tell you that she's got any gray matter upstairs in terms of leadership. It's a joke. Everybody knows it's a joke. But what they say is, 'She's got money. She's a Kennedy. And she can win.' I feel bad, because she's a nice person. But she hasn't given me any reason to think she should be governor."

KKT already has the most important qualification for a Kennedy to hold office: She lived through birth.

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At a volunteer firemen's convention, she refers to the tragic events of Nine-Eleven as those of "Seven-Eleven," before correcting herself.

Well, she was correct. There was that little-known episode where the terrorists attempted to flood the streets with Slurpees.

[1Old Pro]

She's a DITZ with the last name Kennedy.