You got it!!
Posted on 07/26/2002 3:46:41 AM PDT by daisyscarlett
You got it!!
How thoughtful!
It looks wonderful, and just about the right size for me.
You may want to hold off on lunch for half an hour.....
You said you would never discuss our date!!!!!
Thanks for letting me know that Mama_Bear is having computer problems. I miss her but know she will be here as soon as possible...
That was a gift from Skinny.
Can you believe he told me it was a mouse?????
The first one is a candidate for the Texas looney bin, the second one is still running around nekkid in the hills of California looking for the guru and the third one is presently engaged in making several other poor Texans' lives miserable.
When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old man. He was sitting in the park just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to him and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his Root Beer when he noticed that the old man looked hungry, so he offered him a Twinkie. He gratefully accepted it and smiled at him. His smile was so pleasant that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered him a Root Beer.
Again, he smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word. As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave, but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old man, and gave him a hug. He gave him his biggest smile ever.
When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you so happy?
He replied, "I had lunch with God."
But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know what? He's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"
Meanwhile, the old man, also radiant with joy, returned to his home. His son was stunned by the look of peace on his face and he asked, "Dad,what did you do today that made you so happy?"
He replied, "I ate Twinkies in the park with God."
However, before his son responded, he added, "You know, he's much younger than I expected."
Not only did I give back Asta, I removed what he considered my somewhat uncomplimentary comments to him on my webpage.
He said he was so grateful that he was giving me my own mouse.
I tell you, he is not a man to be trusted.
A 4th grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is what they came up with:
Better to be safe than punch a 5th grader
Strike while the bug is close.
It's always darkest before daylight savings time
Never underestimate the power of termites.
You can lead a horse to water but how?
Don't bite the hand that looks dirty.
No news is impossible.
A miss is as good as a Mr.
You can't teach an old dog math.
If you lie down with dogs, you will stink in the morning.
Love all, trust me.
The pen is mightier than the pigs
An idle mind is the best way to relax.
Where there is smoke, there's pollution.
Happy is the bride who gets all the presents.
A penny saved is not much.
Two is company, three's The Musketeers.
None are so blind as Helen Keller.
Children should be seen and not spanked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed get new batteries.
You get out of something what you see pictured on the box.
When the blind lead the blind get out of the way.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you have to blow your nose.
You said you would never discuss our date!!!!!
But, but....I haven't!
You were much better lookin' anyway. LOL!
Sorry, Billie, 'who' made me. : )
who, I don't understand. Is something amiss? I give you a gift straight from my heart and get attacked not once, but twice.
Here's another gift. Now maybe you'll behave.
In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.
And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."
And God said, "Let there be light" and there was light. And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good.
And the Devil said, "There goes the neighborhood."
And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own image; male and female did He create.
And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit.
And the Devil said, "I know how I can get back in this game."
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 79-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man: "You want fries with that?"
And Man said: "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.
And the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And the Devil brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.
And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."
And the Devil brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.
And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds.
And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream dip.
And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And the Devil saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
And the Devil canceled Man's health insurance.
Then God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken and cook the nourishing whole grain brown rice.
And the Devil created light beer so Man could poison his body with alcohol while feeling righteous because he had to drink twice as much of the now-insipid brew to get the same buzz. And Man gained another ten pounds.
And God created the life-giving tofu.
And Woman ventured forth into the land of Godiva Chocolate and upon returning asked Man: "Do I look fat?"
And the Devil said, "Always tell the truth." And Man did.
And Woman went out from the presence of man and dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage counselor.
Only in your wildest dreams.....
Thanks, will it explode if I save it and crash my computer???
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