USO Canteen FReeper Style....Monday Mail Call ....... July 22,2002

FRiends of the USO Canteen FReeper Style and Snow Bunny

[tomkow6]

Husband:
"Shall we try a different position tonight?"

Wife:
"That's a good idea. Why don't YOU stand by
the sink and do the dishes and I'LL sit on
the sofa and fart".

[ProudEagle]

Good afternoon Lady Clara! I hope all is well on your side of this great land. Hot over here, 90 today. But I'm not complaining, it's nice.

[SassyMom]

ROFLMHO......

[Mr_Magoo]

A hurricane came unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island
with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. Used to 5-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do,
so for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice and longed for his old life and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping
to spot a rescue ship.

One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the
most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She rowed up to him.

In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

I rowed from the other side of the island," she said. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."

Amazing," he said. "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many are there? You were lucky to have a rowboat wash up
with you."

It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up; nothing did." He was confused. "Then how did you get the rowboat?"

"Oh, simple," replied the woman. "I made the rowboat out of materials that I found on the island. The oars were whittled from
Gum tree branches.

I wove the bottom from palm branches and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

B-B-But that's impossible," stuttered the man. "You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?"

Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the other side of the island there is a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock
exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools,
and used the tools to make the hardware. But enough of that," she said. "Where do you live?" Sheepishly, he confessed that he
had been sleeping on the beach the whole time.

Well, let's row over to my place, then," she said.

After a few minutes of rowing she docked the boat at a small wharf.

As the man looked to the shore he nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow
painted in blue and white. While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare
ahead, dumbstruck. As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please; would
you like a drink?"

No, no thank you," he said, still dazed. "I can't take any more coconut juice."

It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?" Trying to hide his amazement, the man
accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to
slip into something comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the
bathroom."

No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle.
Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were fastened onto it's end inside a swivel mechanism.

This woman is amazing," he mused. "What next?"

When he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines - strategically positioned - and smelling faintly of gardenias. She
beckoned for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she began, suggestively, slithering closer to him, "we've been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely.
There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months. You
know..." She stared into his eyes.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You mean--?" he replied..., I can check my e-mail from here too?"

[Pippin]

What part of the country are you in? It is in the 90's here in Baltimore and humid.

[Entropy Squared]

I see there was also a reference to the lovely coteblanche too. For the guys who haven't met coteblanche, you don't know what you're missing.

[LadyX]

(frowny face)

The Selection Committee for the USO Kissing Booth for female military will convene when we have more dadgummed VOLUNTEERS!!

On second thought, the floor is open to involuntary servitude 'volunteerism'...:))

Nominations will be taken 24/7....we thus far have tomkow6 and Mr_Magoo.

What say you??

[blackie]

"Hey there, you with the stars in your eyes...lalalalalala..."

Hi Snow Bunny, just got organized been busy busting bungling bureaucrats on another thread. :o)

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/720110/posts?page=110#110

[blackie]

Having a wonderful time, it's Mail Call Monday !!

Lest We Forget !!

[Pippin]

I say get those BOYZ th volunteering cuz I aint kissing no wimmin! I likes MEN!

[Pippin]

Afternoon, Blackie!

[ProudEagle]

About 35 miles south of Seattle WA. Puyallup WA actually. 90 is a bit unusual for here. We've had about a month and a half of fantastic weather. I do remember the humidity back there. At least we're fairly dry when it gets hot. And considering the monsoon we get from November to April, no one complains.

[blackie]

Hi CS, I thought you punched out... :o)

Freedom Is Worth Fighting For !!

Molon Labe !!

[Pippin]

i see, so 90 is quite different there in Seattle than it is in Baltimore. I'm living in the wrong part of the country! YIKES!Sam's been trying to talk me into coming out to Oregon. but Washington state sounds nice!

[Pippin]

I just can't leave ! i think I'm addicted to the Canteen. But I do go on to other threads. =^)

[The Shrew]

The Selection Committee for the USO Kissing Booth for female military will convene when we have more dadgummed VOLUNTEERS!!

I have always been willing to serve my country ;-)

Regards,

TS

[MeekOneGOP]

Thanks. Ann Coulter is AOK!

[blackie]

I would volunteer, but you know, one thing leads to another and it took my wife years to get over my foolin' around, years before that...sigh... :o)

[blackie]

Good...I go to many other threads...I'm on about 12 different ping lists...sigh...

[LadyX]

"For the record (and to get LadyX and COBI back as buds) in spite of what is often portrayed by Hollywood and the media, there aren't many 'slow' folks in the military, in any branch. The current generation of troops are, for the most part, amazingly sharp."

'Kiss Up' works...:)))

Speaking of the five General Classification Tests we had in 1952, when my platoon in Basic Training was tested, there was a fellow administering the tests who was - ummm - flirting with me at every opportunity.

Passing out the one on Pattern & Analysis, he whispered, "Now don't be thrown by this one. Just do as much as you can and don't worry if you can't finish it."

Resisting the urge to laugh, I could have told him my four-year high school average for all subjects was 97; won spelling medals in the 4th, 5th and 6th grades - in the 7th, represented Florida in the National Spelling Bee - won the DAR History Award, and upon graduating, the Bausch-Lomb Science Award.

In addition, my father was a consulting engineer who had me at 11 surveying property lines on the 1,000 acres we had with me on the transit), and I was the first girl at Melbourne High (Florida) to take Mechanical Drawing, doing my projects on the board at home and playing in class.

I zipped through the timed test and laid down my pencil and looked up to see an astonished expression on his face - "She FINISHED it?!"
With a possible perfect score of 151 (average around 100 for women), I made a 141.

His lesson on never underestimate the power of a woman...:)))

With the recommendations from my principal and pastor, they took me straight from recruit training to be a classroom subjects instructor for women recruits.
Most were older than I, having turned 18 the month before I enlisted in the Marine Corps, but they thought I was at least 22.

I chose to not go straight to college, accepted to the one from which my mother had graduated (and two older sisters) that was still 'for women only' - a fate worse than death to me! LOL