A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day 07-10-02

Billie and Mama_Bear

[Saundra Duffy]

Actually, I was hoping someone could beat that drum for me. I don't know how to beat that drum. Hmmmmmm. How 'bout you, Mama_Bear? For victory & freedom!!!

[JustAmy]

Now's my chance!!! .......

"Revenge" -

Well, folks, it has finally happened. The blondes of the world got together and have decided to take revenge on the brunettes:

WHAT'S BLACK AND BLUE AND BROWN AND LAYING IN A DITCH? A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.
WHAT DO YOU CALL GOING ON A BLIND DATE WITH A BRUNETTE? Brown-bagging it.
WHAT'S THE REAL REASON A BRUNETTE KEEPS HER FIGURE? No one else wants it.
WHY ARE SO MANY BLONDE JOKES ONE-LINERS? So brunettes can remember them.
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BRUNETTE IN A ROOM FULL OF BLONDES? Invisible.
WHAT'S A BRUNETTE'S MATING CALL? "Has the blonde left yet? "
WHY DIDN'T INDIANS SCALP BRUNETTES? The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.
WHY IS THE BRUNETTE CONSIDERED AN EVIL COLOR? When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?
WHAT DO BRUNETTES MISS MOST ABOUT A GREAT PARTY? The invitation
WHAT DO YOU CALL A GOOD LOOKING MAN WITH A BRUNETTE? A hostage
WHO MAKES BRAS FOR BRUNETTES? Fisher-Price
WHY ARE BRUNETTES SO PROUD OF THEIR HAIR? It matches their mustache
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[Billie]

YIKES!!! Maybe I'll go red then! Those are hilarious, Amy! Each one gets funnier than the one before! Laughing so hard!

[Militiaman7]

Thanks

The flag is flying in my front yard.

[lodwick]

"We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican Jews!"

Huge CenTex groan...thanks Amy. ;-)

[Aquamarine]

OUCH!

[whoever]

..Don't forget me today;..

After reading that, I don't think it possible.

[JustAmy]

Ahhh .... They weren't that bad! LOL I'll see if I can find the redhead jokes I posted at the Canteen yesterday! It was every blonde joke I could find a couple of weeks ago.

[whoever]

Be Happy Right Now!

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, get a new job, and get a new house.
Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are.

The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now! If not now, when?
Your life will always be filled with challenges.
It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

Treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special,
special enough to spend your time with...
And remember that time waits for no one!

So stop waiting
...until your car or home is paid off
...until you get a new car or a new job
...until you go back to school
...until you lose ten pounds
...until you finish school
...until you get married
...until you get a divorce
...until you have kids
...until your kids leave the house
...until you retire
...until summer
...until fall
...until winter
...until spring
...until you die!

Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect.
It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.

There is no better time than right now to be happy...
Choose to be happy TODAY!

Look the world right in the eyes and SMILE!

[JustAmy]

While looking for a redhead joke ..... look what I found!!!

[JustAmy]

Q: How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
A: Say something.

Q: How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
A: Wait 10 seconds.

If you love a Redhead, set her free.....if she follows you everywhere you go, pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, she's yours.

Q: What's safer: a redhead or a piranha?
A: The piranha. They only attack in schools.

Q: How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend?
A: She has scratched "stay off MY TURF!" on his back with her nails.

Q: What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
A: Normal.

Q: How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
A: There's a hammer embedded in the monitor.

Q: How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
A: She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl.

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That's all for now; I'll be back later!

[Saundra Duffy]

Gray hair is where it's at.

[JustAmy]

Police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 mph, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 65 - perhaps your radar needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her afghan, his wife says sweetly, "Now don't be silly dear, you know very well this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer makes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did".

As the officer makes out a second ticket for the illegal radar detector, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Dammit woman, shut your mouth! NOW!"

The officer frowns and says, "And, I notice you're not wearing your seat belt, sir, that's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over to get my license out of my back pocket."
And the wife says, "Now dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on, you never wear your seat belt when you're driving the Corvette."

Now as the officer makes out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!!" And the officer looks over to the woman and says, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Oh heavens no, officer, only when he's been drinking..."
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[Aquamarine]

Those were cute, I've never seen redhead jokes before only redneck jokes. Haha!

[lodwick]

An A+ to you on your drinking and driving joke - good job. Thanks a bunch. ;-)

[JulieRNR21]

Now dear Louie.....don't get too excited...that was a chocolate kiss....LOL

Better than nothin'. : )

Uh....could you lay a 'real' one on me? : )

Well sweetie.... since you asked so nicely and I'm susceptible to your charm.....

[Mama_Bear]

I'm back! :-)

When I called my husband at work, in a panic, and told him that my DSL was down, he said he would freepmail everyone that had replied to me since my last post on the thread to let them know why I went away. What a guy he is! Thanks Jeff! SMOOOOCH! :-)

Saundra, does it take talent to beat a drum? Cuz if it does, you are asking the wrong person. LOL!

In answer to your freepmail, whoever, yes, I have sbc-pacbell DSL. I haven't had too many problems with it, but occassionally it will disconnect and I can't get back on because my router properities on my computer change and need to be reset. I don't know what causes that. I kind of wish now that I had waited for a cable internet connection, but I don't want to change now.

Aquamarine, what a cute bear. And, thank you for the music that you and the others bring. :-)

larryjohnson...Winter uniform included a cane to find your way to the car in the fog,then drive on along the line in the road. Years 60-62..... LOL! Yep, nothing has changed. People say we don't have seasons here, but we do - hot and dry, or cold and damp.

Hi, dansangel. Hope you had a great day. Always nice to have you stop by.

Amy, I received your mail, will answer a little later this evening.

[Mama_Bear]

Just as I was about to post this, several hours ago, my DSL connection went down. What a LONG afternoon this has been!

You and MB add so much to this thread, and I can't thank you enough.

Billie, it truly is my pleasure (so please quit thanking me, LOL!). You and Daisy are great to work with, and all the contributors to this thread (even those who have yet to find us) are wonderful.

I am looking forward to your thread tomorrow, Daisy. I'm sure it will be very nice, like everything you do. :-)

[JulieRNR21]

Hi Billie....just saw your remark about my 'Hersey Kiss'....I love it too....the perfect way to enjoy chocolate without the calories....LOL

[JulieRNR21]

I'd seen a few versions of that 'Martha Stewart VS. Real Women' but not this one......I liked yours the best....thanks for the ping!