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Two brothers, John and Richard lived in
the same town. John with his 12 year old
cat, Richard with their 88 year old
Mother. John's whole life was his cat.
He never went anywhere without her. One
day he was faced with a terrible decision.
He had to go to England on business for
his company and he could not take the cat
into England with having to quarantine
her for 14 days. He wouldn't do that so
he was faced with either losing his job
or leaving his cat.

Finally he decided to trust his brother
with the cat for the week he would be
gone. He gave Richard detailed instructions,
schedules, food, etc. Finally he flew to
London and called Richard every few hours
to make sure Gracie the cat was ok. Four
days of this went by and John was really
getting to be a pain in the neck.

On the fifth day when he called John asked
Richard how Gracile was and Richard told
him. "Gracile is dead"! Well as you can
imagine, John nearly had a heart attack.

When he recovered he said to Richard, "That
was the most cruel thing I ever heard. You
know how much I loved that cat, why couldn't
you have broken it to me gently. You know
like when I called said something like,
well she's OK but she is up on the roof.
And then when I called the next time, tell
me oh oh, bad news, she fell off the roof
and she's at the vets. And then the next
time break the news that she passed away.
At least I would have been a little prepared
for the bad news.

"Yes, you are right John. I am sorry for
being so heartless."

John accepted Richard's apology for being
so uncaring, and then said, "Oh, by the
way, how's Mother?"

Richard then said, "Well, John, she's OK,
but she's on the roof!"

A little boy and girl are playing in a sandbox. The little boy has to go to take a pee and he was told by his mother to always be polite and don't talk about private
matters in public.

At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what to
say to the little girl to excuse himself. Then he remembers what
his Mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the
table. So he turns to the little girl and says "Will you excuse me I have to go
powder my nose". And saying that he leaps out of the sandbox and
runs to the washroom. When he comes back the little girl looks up at him and asks "Did
you powder your nose?" "Yes" said the little boy stepping back into the sandbox.
"Well then" says the little girl, "You'd better close your purse because
your lipstick is hanging out