[Mr_Magoo]

At age 4.....success is...not peeing in your pants

At age 12...success is ...having friends

At age 16...success is ...having a drivers license

At age 20...success is ...having sex

At age 35...success is ...having money

At age 50...success is....having money

At age 60...success is....having sex

At age 70...success is....having a drivers license

At age 75...success is....having friends

At age 80...success is....not peeing in your pants

[tomkow6]

You must be aware of the following viruses...

Government Economist Virus
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is
fine

Federal Beaurocrat Virus
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of
which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most
important part of your computer

Adam and Eve Virus
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer

Congressional Virus #1
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message
appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem

Congressional Virus #2
Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't
allow the user to accomplish anything

Airline Virus
You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore

Freudian Virus
Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard. Or
becomes very jealous of the size of your friend's hard drive

PBS Virus
Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money

Jimmy Hoffa Virus
Your programs can never be found again

LAPD Virus
It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and
erases them in "self-defense".

O.J. Virus
It claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of
your files and vows to find the virus that did it.