[tomkow6]

Q: Why did the blonde keep putting quarters in the soda
machine?
A: She thought she was winning.

Q: Why did the blonde take 16 friends to the movies?
A: Under 17 not admitted.

Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 1/2 days?
A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound; and she
weighed 125 pounds.

Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A: She heard that drinks were on the house.

[Mr_Magoo]

Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day
the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hanger with nothing to do. Bud said, "Man, I wish
we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a
buzz. You wanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hootch and get
completely smashed. The next morning Bud wakes up and is suprised at how good he feels. In fact,
he feels GREAT! No hangover, no bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings...It's Jim. Jim says,
"Hey, how do you feel this morning?" Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?" Jim says, "I feel great,
too. You don't have a hangover?" Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover, nothing.
We ought to do this more often." "Yeah, well there's just one thing..." "What's that?" "Have you
farted yet?" "No...." "Well DON'T, 'cause I'm in Phoenix!!!