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Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day
the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hanger with nothing to do. Bud said, "Man, I wish
we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a
buzz. You wanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hootch and get
completely smashed. The next morning Bud wakes up and is suprised at how good he feels. In fact,
he feels GREAT! No hangover, no bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings...It's Jim. Jim says,
"Hey, how do you feel this morning?" Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?" Jim says, "I feel great,
too. You don't have a hangover?" Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover, nothing.
We ought to do this more often." "Yeah, well there's just one thing..." "What's that?" "Have you
farted yet?" "No...." "Well DON'T, 'cause I'm in Phoenix!!!

A psychologist, an engineer and a theologian were hunting
when they stumbled upon a cabin where a potbellied stove
was suspended in midair by wires attached to the ceiling.
The psychologist theorized, "The lonely trapper has
elevated his stove so he can curl up underneath and feel
the warmth as if he has returned to the womb."

"No," said the engineer. "By elevating the stove, the man
is simply distributing the heat more evenly in the cabin."

"Actually, lifting up fire has been a religious symbol for
centuries," explained the theologian.

Just then, the trapper returned, so the hunters asked him
to explain. "Well, I had plenty of wire," the trapper
said, "but not much stovepipe."