Most eloquently stated, John O.
You may have inadvertently hit a nail on the head here. Everyone always wants to air that statistic about how women are the ones who do the files but generally neglect to mention that in quite a few cases, the women file because the man started (shall we say) wandering after children come along. There are, I know, women who break the marriage vows but, from what I've seen, it's usually the men. Just FWIW.
The point however is that it doesn't matter who is at fault as long as the one at fault is the one who pays. In my experience it has always been the woman who strayed (three divorces in my family and a few in my circle of friends). In an ideal world they should have lost all claim to the assets of the marriage including the kids.
Let me expand this into a related field by stating that only scumbag women get child support (usually). If the divorce was the woman's fault then she's a scumbag. If her husband was a good man then she'll get paid support because he's a good man. If her husband wasn't a good man she'll not get support because he's a scumbag just like her. If the divorce was the man's fault then he is a scumbag. Scumbag men seldom if ever pay child support. If both the man and the woman were good then they wouldn't be divorced, they'd be working to improve their marriage.
This is why the one at fault should lose the kids, obviously they are a scumbag and a poor role model for children. My wife and I have been married 15 years and are in total agreement on all of this BTW.
GSA(P)