My favorite is Mighty Tree Shaker screaming, "SHOOT THE DOG!!!"
DOG DUTIES
Is your dog a pampered pet?
Does he eat better than you?
Does he sit on your furniture?
Does he have the run of the house?
In days gone by dogs earned their keep.
Here are some suggestions to make your dog a useful member of your household.
Put him to work digging up your garden in the spring.
Make him fetch your mail and keep nosy neighbors away.
He can do dangerous work so you don't have to!
Or just give him general guard duty.
Send him out to check the weather.
Or make him help you cook the roast nice and slow for hours on that awful dog-torturing machine from the Middle Ages: the spit and treadmill!
But whatever you do, get him off that sofa, quit feeding him that gourmet food, and make him earn his keep, and then some!
Sincerely,
The CAT