Wedded bliss not a priority for U.S. bachelors (because they enjoy a sexually active single life)

Washington Times ^ | 6/26/02 | Cheryl Wetzstein

[truthandlife]

Men won't commit to marriage because they enjoy a sexually active single life in a social climate that doesn't push them to marry, a new report says. Young men are indeed "commitment phobic," which is bad news for young women who want build a family before they get too old, said researchers Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and David Popenoe, who run the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. "The median age of first marriage for men has reached 27, the oldest age in our nation's history," Mr. Popenoe said. "If this trend of men waiting to marry continues, it is likely to clash with the timing of marriage and childbearing for the many young women who hope to marry and bear children before they begin to face problems associated with declining fertility," he said. There are several specific reasons for why young men are avoiding marriage, Mr. Popenoe and Mrs. Whitehead said yesterday in their 2002 State of Our Unions report, titled, "Why Men Won't Commit: Exploring Young Men's Attitudes About Sex, Dating and Marriage." The report is based on interviews with 60 single men, 25 to 33, who live in four parts of the country. Primarily, young men are enjoying a sexually active single life

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

So there are no women who are your economic equals, or even higher on the ladder than you? Wow.

Of course there isn't, he's a college student. They know it all.

[Phantom Lord]

Hey now, I spend countless hours with my golf clubs and there is no divorce proceedings in sight. never mind that I earn good money with em.

I laid out some very simple rules before we got married. I get to play golf when ever i want, I get to play my guitars as loud as I want, and when we go on vacation we choose a location where I either bring my golf clubs or my SCUBA gear.

Now just if my wife could find the kitchen!
actually I prefer to cook. Another one of the rules was 'I cook, you clean'.

[Phantom Lord]

One thing women need to realize, and some do, is that men have and need hobbies. We like to golf, fish, bowl, shoot guns, join sports leagues, etc... Our weekends off are not solely for the purpose of mowing the lawn, planting flowers, and doing "projects" around the house you have come up with for us.

Women have a hobby too. Its called shopping. Yet how angry do women get when we complain that they just bought their 305th pair of shoes? But be damned if a husband wants to go spend 4 hours with his buddies playing golf.

And I am not exaggerating on the number of shoes. When my wife and I moved into our new home I made her throw out or donate shoes. When all pairs were counted she had almost 250 pairs. I limited her to 50 pairs in the new house.

And how many handbags does a women need?

[technochick99]

When I was in college, I had an insight that when it all comes down to it, life was about folding sheets. By that, I mean that there's a lot of crap work to do, and you need to attend to those things first. So the grass needs to be mowed, the projects need to be done, etc. Pleasure comes after work is finished. If one person doesn't do it, the other person has to. Or you pay a 3rd party to do so, which is also a good option.

We have an odd relationship in my house. How many women argue with their husbands about doing his laundry? I WANT to do it since I know that it will make it from the dryer to the closet. When I've offered to mow the lawn, it gets shot down. When he put in the tulips by himself last year while I was gone, I was upset. And when I said I would paint the bathroom by myself, that was shot down.

Having a good life and a good nest is hard work. But he does get him time to himself as well. Balance is important.

[technochick99]

BTW, I do agree that shopping as a hobby is a bad thing. She's got way too many shoes and purses, if you ask me. But then again, how much do they cost?

[FITZ]

It's interesting to read what you said about marrying young. It seems the very happiest married couples --who are still happy in their 40's married at about age 19. My mother always warned about waiting until after you get "set in your ways" which seems true in many cases --it's harder for those who become too independent. Maybe it's easier for those who didn't live on their own and spent their entire adulthood with one special person.

[Phantom Lord]

Being that I dont shop for handbags or shoes I have no idea what they cost.

Recently I wanted a couple new pairs of golf shoes. She whined "but you have 3 pairs!" I took her by the hand, lead her into the Master Bedroom and then into the walk-in closet and pointed at the over 100 pairs of shoes she had lined up. Her reply, "ok, lets go to the store."

[technochick99]

I have a purse that cost about $250. It is, and has been, the work horse purse for several years. Basic black, by Coach. Some purses cost $20. I wear inexpensive shoes since I tend to destroy them easily - even the expensive ones (I have NO idea - I am a hard walker I suppose).

So rather than worry about the number she has, I would worry about the cost.

[Phantom Lord]

Even if they were only $20 a pair, when you have over 100 pairs, thats a lot of money on shoes. And I doubt they are that cheap.

Everyone has items they like to buy and have a lot of. If she wants shoes, fine, but when I want to buy a new guitar, amp, or effects package. Or golf equipment, which luckily I have several sponsors that I get free stuff from, she shouldnt complain.

I am currently shopping for a new set of irons. I have had my current set of irons for 12 years. I am willing to bet that she doesnt have a pair of shoes from 12 year ago that she still wears.

[Quilla]

250 PAIRS OF SHOES!?! That ain't no princess, she's a full-fledged queen.

I consider shopping more of a chore than a hobby. I prefer to collect guns, fish (fresh and saltwater), canoe, and hunt dove, deer, and turkey. Fortunately, my husband likes to do the same things.

[Phantom Lord]

There is a reason it is called "womens work"!

Settle down Beavis, I was being sarcastic

[Phantom Lord]

She can buy all the shoes she wants as long as it doesnt deprive us of money needed for neccesities, or prevent me from also engaging in my hobbies.

I used the example of shoes and handbags because I am sure most men can relate to a womens "need" to buy shoes.

And to show that I am not a pig or a mean demanding husband, as I think some here have thought, one of the last "toys" that I purchased for myself was, are you ready...

A Rainbow Vacuum Cleaner!

[ericthecurdog]

BBW?

Boneless Buffalo Wings

[Phantom Lord]

Oh, and we dont have any children, which clearly reduces the work load at home for both of us. Though we do have 2 boxers, which I do 95% of the work related to them.