What is the worst war movie ever made?

My Brain | 6/25/02 | Burkeman1

[Burkeman1]

What is the worst war movie you have ever seen? Your reasons can be political, realism, historical innaccuracy, or a mixture but what is the worst?

[Burkeman1]

LOL!

But not quite.

CRAPGAME: "So why not make a deal?"

Big Joe: "What Kinda Deal?"

CrapGame: "A deal deal! Maybe the guys a Republican!"

[Heyworth]

Ah. I can see why it was such a hit with the Nazis, then. It's a catchy, rousing, tune. Kinda like "The Marseillaise" (which, whatever you think of the French, is the best national anthem in the world).

[StACase]

138 posts and no one picked Coming Home with Jane Fonda.

[Skooz]

The book by Cornelious Ryan is excellent. I read the book and then tried to watch the movie. The latter was a deep disappointment because Mr. Ryan had set the bar so high.

[Guennie]

I misread....

..I thought you said 'worst movie'.....and

..having just rented The Majestic....I was ready to volunteer it!!!

Sooooo disappointing......I use to be Jim Carrey fan, but this bit of anti-American propaganda was too much!

[DCBar]

ditto on the French national anthem. what did they do to merit such a great tune?

[parsifal]

Can you hum me a few bars? What was it "Panzer Lied"? parsy.

[Heyworth]

I believe Lee Marvin was in Cross of Iron which was about a German platoon in Russia in WWII. That was a GOOD war movie.

Actually it was James Coburn. (And Maximillian Schell, directed by Sam Peckinpah--and featuring real Russian T-34s, courtesy of the Yugoslavian army.)

[Guennie]

Actually, I have seen the WORST war movie....;but I can't remember the name.

It was the ONLY movie directed by Frank Sinatra and starring Frank Sinatra............

...and my husband & I sat there totally incredulous that this movie got made....

IT WAS AWFUL!!!

[meyer]

Horrible acting by Telly Savales as a tank driver.

Awwww, c'mon! Who can forget that memorable moment when ol' Telly jumps up and proclaim, "The MP's are Krauts!!!" :^)

[Skooz]

"The Naked And The Dead" was the worst although I should be able to come up with a war flick worse than that.

I doubt it. That movie made war look like a Boy Scout troop's summer vacation. Guys at war, Guys killing guys, Guys complaining about guy things, Guys doing that fun war stuff---geez I saw that movie when I was a kid and was ready to go to war right then--it looked like a lot of fun.

Awful movie.

[PhilDragoo]

138 posts and no one picked Coming Home with Jane Fonda

See 140 above.

"Dennis Weaver" should be "Dennis Hopper".

[PJ-Comix]

All Quiet on the Western Front which seemed to be a loop of a water-cooled German heavy machine gun mowing down dough-boys--oh, that was the war.

Actually I was going to nominate that one as the BEST war film ever made. It didn't glorify war a bit. And it didn't seem like a loop at all. And that end---very moving.

[John H K]

People have a difficult time looking at The Patriot objectively around here because Mel Gibson is known not to be a Hollywood leftist, and because the movie depicted kids shooting guns in a positive light.

But you're right about the movie. The church burning scene was an EGREGIOUS fabrication, and nothing remotely like it EVER happened in the Revolution. If it had been a Civil War movie and it had depicted Confederate troops burning a church in Pennsylvania full of people after locking them inside or something, Free Republic would have absolutely flipped out.

The Revolution in the South was really more like a Civil War, and there were a lot of atrocities committed on BOTH sides. But no burnings of churches after locking people inside.

The movie also hired a bunch of "historical accuracy" consultants, made a big deal of having hired them, and then proceeded to completely ignore them (which happens an awful lot)...used a totally non-existent at the time American Flag, dressed the Loyalist cavalry unit in Red, instead of Green, etc.

[Heyworth]

what did they do to merit such a great tune?

They had a great, bloody revolution, complete with cutting of the head of a tyrant. Things got a little out of hand later, but they did get that song out of it. Maybe we should have made them give to us for saving their butts (twice).

[BradyLS]

The scene of Caroll O'Conner listening to Kelly's advance on the bank, in a red bathrobe with major-general's stars, is priceless:

"General..."

"What the Hell is it, Booker? Can't you see I've got 'the game' on?"

"Crap Game, this is Kelly. We're stalled just on the other side of the river. One of the Shermans is knocked out and I'm down to two. We some bridgers up here..."

"No! Go! Go! Go!"

"Sorry, Kelly, the engineers are behind the Grave Registration company..."

"J*sus Chr*st! They've even got the *oddam*ed grave diggers up there!"

"Okay...we'll just have to go ahead without 'em. Catch up as best you can. How many people know about this?"

"That's the spirit! Someone's finally cracked this nut wide open!"

"But General...Where are you going?"

"To the front!"

"Where's that?"

"About 10 miles further east than you ever thought it was! And Booker! GET ME MY UNIFORM!!!"

[DCBar]

The Longstreet beard slays me. Otherwise, the beards in Gettysburg were not so bad.

I thought the kid's name was "upchuck."

Awful War Move #1 - Battle of the Bulge. Henry "GAF" Fonda's worst movie ever.

[Dante3]

My husband watched "Pearl Harbor" for about 20 minutes and nearly gagged. It was a tape someone gave him as a present and he got rid of it. He said it was among the worst films he has seen.

[Burkeman1]

I was actually thinking of nominating that movie to the list. Especially the part where they had the American pilot crawling through mud and just happens to stumble on a mass grave of Bosnians killed by evil Serbs. Funny- I watch the news all the time. I have seen Hitler's mass graves shown, I have seen even the mass graves of Stalin on TV. I have yet to see the mass graves that we were told existed at Srebinica? Do they exist? Where are the photos and Videos? I guess we will have to wait for that just like we wait for the Kosovo mass grave photos.

[Burkeman1]

I have seen that and it is good.