[ppaul]

Al-Qaeda's spokesman claim that Osama bin Laden will soon make a televised addressed to the Muslim world.

Yeah.
Just as soon as they can find a 6'5" Arab who looks like him to play the part.

[bonesmccoy]

I believe the part will be portrayed by Alec Baldwin.

[helpisontheway]

I think you're on to something. They have probably found him, but are waiting for the plastic surgery scars to heal.