[JohnHuang2]

Wednesday, June 12, 2002

Quote of the Day by Dog Gone

[Phlap]

Why? Because a parent only sees their child and not the monster it may have become.

[Phantom Lord]

My 32 year old brother in law lives with his mother.

My wifes father died in 1993, a year before I met her and she was away at college at the time. So, basically since then it has only been my MIL and BIL living in the home, which is rather large. He has it made. He is single, has a decent income, and has free run of the place as if he lived alone. Plus, being a former carpenter, he spends a lot of time renovating the 30+ year old house with an updated kitchen and bathrooms, new wood floors, new staircase and rail, etc... Almost like a project house.

To be honest with you, he would be crazy to move out.

[Phantom Lord]

My wife and I moved in with my parents for 5 months a few years back. Our lease expired and construction on our home wasnt complete yet. Was great. Mom cooked and cleaned. Did my laundry. Dad did the yard work and we went golfing and got drunk every Sunday. He loved walking and playing with our dog. Who happened to gain about 15 lbs when we lived there. They enjoyed toast and bacon for breakfast together.

Plus their house is pretty big and they have a 1st floor master. So my wife and I had the entire upstairs to ourselves and was like we lived there alone almost. Was great. But 5 months was enough.

[Always Right]

Maybe the kids spent so much time in daycare, this is their first real chance to spend time with their parents.

[Destructor]

It might also be out of necessity. The cost of living is the highest it's ever been, and life is not getting any easier for the average person.

[stevio]

It's Biblical to stay with your parents until you're married.
I had a great relationship with my parents until my father died in '92. I lived with my mother in the house until I got married 4 years later at 31. I treasure that relationship we had and I hope to offer the same to my kids. As long as they are not mooches and capable of taking care of themselves.

[PayNoAttentionManBehindCurtain]

FWIW, I think the article was right when it said you had to look at what the child is doing that is still living at home. Is he productive, or a lazy slob.

But on the other hand, in my experience, I have two children that are both married (24-21), living in their own homes, that BTW they OWN, (I'm not proud or anything:) watching thier friends, alot of these kids are productive living at home, BUT, I don't see alot of what the article says is repect for their parents, or wanting to hang with them. For most of these kids living at home, even while they are being productive, they just come and go as they please, very seldom to never including their parents in their activities. In fact most of them landed up hanging out over at our house.

As far as the old adage of "childern being seen and not heard," I think we should go back to it. When watching news cast, and they get some kid on their to voice their opinion on something, 99 X out of 100, I find myself feeling embarassed by thier idiotic opinions and always wonder why the news casters interview these kids who don't have the life experience to form an educated response. They need to be quiet and learn from their elders. Not that there are actually too many elders out there that are any more intelligent then them:)

Becky

[Judith Anne]

Nice post. Some years ago our DIL stayed with us while Son was in boot camp, and again when he went to Korea...we forged a deep friendship, she is a wonderful person.

[texlok]

Where I grew up (very rural, lots of farms), it was pretty common for the children to build houses on the same farm, or move just down the road. I wonder if this is just an extension of that, of people staying close to their family? Kind of refreshing to be honest, many people I know are halfway across the country from their family and very rarely see them. I do tihnk adult children should move out after a while, but if both parties are happy, then no big deal.

[Minnesoootan]

I know two families in the oppressed area I am from that do this on purpose,and both families couldn't be happier,more providers the better and more comfortable they all live.The lower incomes even out when everybody is pitching in,and with layoffs and such happening all the time there is always a source of income available.

One family has two adult males the other has one male and female.

The other benefit is the home is more secure,there is always someone around.

I would assume privacy is a burden at times but both homes are large and have fully livable basements or over garage living areas.

I certainly would invite the same,there would be nothing better than having family help with the mortgage payment and bills.

One thing I wouldn't do would be having a married with chilren family deal....

[CollegeRepublican]

Interesting article. I currently live with my parents after graduating college in May of 2001. So, basically I have been living at home for a year now and prior to that I lived at college full time (summers)for three of my four years in college. Quite frankly, I could afford to rent an apartment, but I would be throwing away between $700-$1000 dollars a month for a decent place in the Baltimore-DC area. I will shortly be making a down payment on a house in the area and I never would have been able to do that unless I lived at home for a year.

[Beach_Babe]

I have my mom (age 90) living with me. My daughter and her family have a separate house on my property. Basically, we are four generations living together...and I wouldn't have it any other way!

[MadRobotArtist]

I left home, and never went back. When I first got out of the Army, it killed me to stay with my parents. My mom and stepdad were total control freaks and psychos. It didn't help that my lying stepsister was creating more havoc. I left quickly, and was happy to oblige them. When my brother was divorcing his wife, he had free run of their house, with no problems. I truly think that there are some people who can live with their parents, and some who can't. I'm one of those who can't. My threshold for BS, is extremely low.

For those who do live at home, enjoy it while you can. Build your fortunes and when it's time, leave. Frankly, when my wife and I have kids, I'm not sure how I'll feel, but I'm sure that any kids of ours will know that they are loved, and will always have a place to come to.

[Sloth]

As I posted on another thread w/ the same topic:

I am 27 and I live with my parents. I worked elsewhere and lived in an apartment for a couple of years after college, then moved back here. I am loathe to throw away money on rent as opposed to acquiring equity in a house, but I don't know how much longer I'll work in this area so it would be foolish to get tied down to a house.

If I was getting married, I'd be inclined to buy a house. But since I can't find a wife, what other incentive do I have? I'd rather be lonely at my parent's house than lonely in a big empty money pit of my own. Plus, I'd really prefer to buy land & build my own house, but that takes a lot of cash, time and commitment for someone who could conceivably take a job a thousand miles away next week.

BTW, I'm not "mooching." I'm an engineer and my salary is roughly twice the combined retirement pension & SS benefits my Mom & Dad receive. I don't pay rent, but I buy them durable goods (microwave, VCRs, ceiling fan, satellite dish, etc.) and help out around the house with things they can't do very well anymore (errands, minor repairs).

[geege]

I moved back home with my parents at one time....had a blast.....paid rent.......then left nest again for Hunterdon County.......

[Nowhere Man]

Well, I'll be 36 next month and I still live at home witm my mother. Myself, I am starting up a web page design business and also work for one of my clients part/full time (it varies) so I do drop all my shekels in the common pot. I do most of the yard work too although there are times business takes me away so there are times I could do a little better (LOL). B-) Still as somebody else pointed out, until I find the right one for me, I'd rather "be lonely" at home than by myself all the time, at least I have mom and 9 cats to keep me company. B-) My parents divorced when I was 10 so we have been close all these years. Plus too, despite the good economy, making it on your own is tougher, especially when you're trying to start up something so it is an economic benefit. Maybe this is what the country needs, hopefully we are slipping back into the way it was on "Little House on thr Prarie," "The Waltons," and "Anne of Green Gables" where families were a lot closer and families live together or at least very close.

[Tancred]

As soon as I finished high school, my parents told me I could continue to live in their house until I found my own place but I had to pay $125 a month as my share of the groceries.

Then my father started building his own boat, and he would always be asking me to give him a hand on some little project that wouldn't take more than a minute. I later figured out that it was really closer to 20 hours per week of unpaid labor.

Then they got rid of the television.

[Attillathehon]

A lot of young people are saddled with student loans after finishing college and have no choice but to stay at home until they can pay off their debts or increase their income to the point where they can handle both an apartment and their bills.

[Dante3]

We know a couple (in their fifties) moved in with his mother after their children left home because the mother can no longer drive or do many other things and has a large home. They enjoy each others company -- the mother is a pleasant person and whenever they go on a trip she looks after their pets.