Free Republic 4th Qtr 2024 Fundraising Target: $81,000 | Receipts & Pledges to-date: $20,655 | |||
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Woo hoo!! And we're now over 25%!! Thank you all very much!! God bless. |
Posted on 06/10/2002 11:59:55 AM PDT by WIMom
Thank You Wisconsin!
!
A fellow was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.
"Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself. But desperate, he called them up and subscribed to the 3-day/10 pound weight loss program.
The next day there was a knock at his door, and when he answered, there stood before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck.
She introduced herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign read, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought he took off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally caught her and had his way with her.< br> After they were through and she had left, he thought to himself, "I like the way this company does business!"
The same girl showed up for the next two days and the same thing happened. On the fourth day, he weighed himself and was delighted to find he had lost 10 lb. as promised. He called the company and ordered their 5-day/20 pound program.
The next day there was a knock at the door and there stood the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he had ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that read, "If you catch me, you can have me."
He was out the door after her like a shot. This girl was in excellent shape and it took him a while to catch her, but when he did, it was worth every cramp and wheeze.
For the next four days, the same routine happened and, much to his delight, on the fifth day when he weighed himself, he found he had lost another 20 lbs. as promised.
He decided to go for broke and called the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. "Are you sure?", asked the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replied, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there was a knock at the door and when he opened it, he found Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that read,
"If I catch you, you're mine."
Delaware, Hawaii, Montana, North Dakota, Rhode Island, South Dakota, West Virginia and Wyoming
are still on the COMMIE CLINTON PINKO list!
Place |
Location |
Freepers |
Total Contributions |
Per person |
1 |
Texas |
1000 |
$2,325.00 |
$2.33 |
2 |
Never Never Land - The Unknown State |
613 |
$1,987.00 |
$3.24 |
3 |
California |
1007 |
$1,746.00 |
$1.73 |
4 |
Pennsylvania |
324 |
$1,109.00 |
$3.42 |
5 |
New Jersey |
188 |
$900.00 |
$4.79 |
6 |
Virginia |
382 |
$710.00 |
$1.86 |
7 |
Arizona |
196 |
$610.00 |
$3.11 |
8 |
Florida |
508 |
$604.00 |
$1.19 |
9 |
Wisconsin |
154 |
$570.00 |
$3.70 |
10 |
Washington State |
279 |
$535.00 |
$1.92 |
11 |
Missouri |
197 |
$525.00 |
$2.66 |
12 |
Ohio |
256 |
$505.00 |
$1.97 |
13 |
Georgia |
251 |
$475.00 |
$1.89 |
14 |
Illinois |
254 |
$425.00 |
$1.67 |
15 |
Alaska |
48 |
$400.00 |
$8.33 |
16 |
Mississippi |
69 |
$380.00 |
$5.51 |
17 |
Michigan |
219 |
$340.00 |
$1.55 |
18 |
Connecticut |
104 |
$325.00 |
$3.13 |
19 |
Colorado |
166 |
$275.00 |
$1.66 |
20 |
New York |
356 |
$270.00 |
$0.76 |
21 |
Maryland |
238 |
$250.00 |
$1.05 |
22 |
Oregon |
132 |
$245.00 |
$1.86 |
23 |
Tennessee |
200 |
$245.00 |
$1.23 |
24 |
Alabama |
114 |
$240.00 |
$2.11 |
25 |
New Hampshire |
55 |
$225.00 |
$4.09 |
26 |
Massachusetts |
145 |
$211.00 |
$1.46 |
27 |
Minnesota |
137 |
$190.00 |
$1.39 |
28 |
North Carolina |
269 |
$185.00 |
$0.69 |
29 |
Indiana |
156 |
$175.00 |
$1.12 |
30 |
Oklahoma |
129 |
$170.00 |
$1.32 |
31 |
Maine |
39 |
$125.00 |
$3.21 |
32 |
Nevada |
61 |
$120.00 |
$1.97 |
33 |
Idaho |
58 |
$100.00 |
$1.72 |
34 |
Kansas |
97 |
$100.00 |
$1.03 |
35 |
Spain |
3 |
$100.00 |
$33.33 |
36 |
Louisiana |
110 |
$75.00 |
$0.68 |
37 |
New Mexico |
65 |
$70.00 |
$1.08 |
38 |
APO Address |
1 |
$50.00 |
$50.00 |
39 |
Iowa |
75 |
$50.00 |
$0.67 |
40 |
Nebraska |
44 |
$50.00 |
$1.14 |
41 |
South Carolina |
114 |
$50.00 |
$0.44 |
42 |
Scotland |
1 |
$30.00 |
$30.00 |
43 |
Vermont |
11 |
$30.00 |
$2.73 |
44 |
Kentucky |
99 |
$25.00 |
$0.25 |
45 |
Panama |
3 |
$25.00 |
$8.33 |
46 |
Utah |
50 |
$25.00 |
$0.50 |
47 |
Arkansas |
67 |
$20.00 |
$0.30 |
48 |
Delaware |
20 |
$0.00 |
$0.00 |
49 |
Hawaii |
28 |
$0.00 |
$0.00 |
50 |
Montana |
17 |
$0.00 |
$0.00 |
51 |
North Dakota |
14 |
$0.00 |
$0.00 |
52 |
Rhode Island |
15 |
$0.00 |
$0.00 |
53 |
South Dakota |
27 |
$0.00 |
$0.00 |
54 |
West Virginia |
39 |
$0.00 |
$0.00 |
55 |
Wyoming |
11 |
$0.00 |
$0.00 |
|
Totals |
9595 |
$18,197.00 |
$1.90 |
Place |
Location |
Freepers |
Total Contributions |
Per person |
1 |
APO Address |
1 |
$50.00 |
$50.00 |
2 |
Spain |
3 |
$100.00 |
$33.33 |
3 |
Scotland |
1 |
$30.00 |
$30.00 |
4 |
Alaska |
48 |
$400.00 |
$8.33 |
5 |
Panama |
3 |
$25.00 |
$8.33 |
6 |
Mississippi |
69 |
$380.00 |
$5.51 |
7 |
New Jersey |
188 |
$900.00 |
$4.79 |
8 |
New Hampshire |
55 |
$225.00 |
$4.09 |
9 |
Wisconsin |
154 |
$570.00 |
$3.70 |
10 |
Pennsylvania |
324 |
$1,109.00 |
$3.42 |
11 |
Never Never Land - The Unknown State |
613 |
$1,987.00 |
$3.24 |
12 |
Maine |
39 |
$125.00 |
$3.21 |
13 |
Connecticut |
104 |
$325.00 |
$3.13 |
14 |
Arizona |
196 |
$610.00 |
$3.11 |
15 |
Vermont |
11 |
$30.00 |
$2.73 |
16 |
Missouri |
197 |
$525.00 |
$2.66 |
17 |
Texas |
1000 |
$2,325.00 |
$2.33 |
18 |
Alabama |
114 |
$240.00 |
$2.11 |
19 |
Ohio |
256 |
$505.00 |
$1.97 |
20 |
Nevada |
61 |
$120.00 |
$1.97 |
21 |
Washington State |
279 |
$535.00 |
$1.92 |
22 |
Georgia |
251 |
$475.00 |
$1.89 |
23 |
Virginia |
382 |
$710.00 |
$1.86 |
24 |
Oregon |
132 |
$245.00 |
$1.86 |
25 |
California |
1007 |
$1,746.00 |
$1.73 |
26 |
Idaho |
58 |
$100.00 |
$1.72 |
27 |
Illinois |
254 |
$425.00 |
$1.67 |
28 |
Colorado |
166 |
$275.00 |
$1.66 |
29 |
Michigan |
219 |
$340.00 |
$1.55 |
30 |
Massachusetts |
145 |
$211.00 |
$1.46 |
31 |
Minnesota |
137 |
$190.00 |
$1.39 |
32 |
Oklahoma |
129 |
$170.00 |
$1.32 |
33 |
Tennessee |
200 |
$245.00 |
$1.23 |
34 |
Florida |
508 |
$604.00 |
$1.19 |
35 |
Nebraska |
44 |
$50.00 |
$1.14 |
36 |
Indiana |
156 |
$175.00 |
$1.12 |
37 |
New Mexico |
65 |
$70.00 |
$1.08 |
38 |
Maryland |
238 |
$250.00 |
$1.05 |
39 |
Kansas |
97 |
$100.00 |
$1.03 |
40 |
New York |
356 |
$270.00 |
$0.76 |
41 |
North Carolina |
269 |
$185.00 |
$0.69 |
42 |
Louisiana |
110 |
$75.00 |
$0.68 |
43 |
Iowa |
75 |
$50.00 |
$0.67 |
44 |
Utah |
50 |
$25.00 |
$0.50 |
45 |
South Carolina |
114 |
$50.00 |
$0.44 |
46 |
Arkansas |
67 |
$20.00 |
$0.30 |
47 |
Kentucky |
99 |
$25.00 |
$0.25 |
I'm talking to myself again..................
$50.00 in from NNL
Thank you Freepers
Thank you NEVER NEVER LAND FREEPER!!!!
Delaware can now come off the commie pinko list!!!!!!!!!!!
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