You tawkin' to me?......
Posted on 06/08/2002 1:51:00 PM PDT by friendly
Edited on 05/26/2004 5:06:46 PM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]
THINK the venture capitalists on Wall Street are good at raising money? They've got nothing on the lawyers who have been cleaning up on the lawsuits the tobacco companies recently settled with the states. The agreements will provide some of the plaintiffs' attorneys (between 200 and 300 of them) with payments totaling $500 million per year almost in perpetuity. For some, this works out to a payment of more than $100,000 per hour worked.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
From the example of Great Tobacco Scam, it is obvious that attorneys arrogantly spit on the Constitution and ethics.
Maybe it could run alongside "America's Wildest Police Chases"! (Or reruns of "ER"???)
You tawkin' to me?......
This usually happens the second they pass the Bar exam.
LOL
Actually all I could visualize from "WHEN LAWYERS GO BAD" is the stench of turned rotting food when the refrigerator goes on the fritz. Funny how the mind works.
Doesn't this imply Lawyers were once good?
Obscene. These aren't great genuises working, these are rip-off con artists. They deserve prison more than most of the current inmates. Who really pays for their rip-offs? We do, but lawyers make up the majority of our legislators and they aren't about to police their own profession.
It has to be really early on.....
If I am not mistaken, that is mob lawyer (and a fairly incompetent one- his clients all go to jail) Bruce Cutler. He was unintentionally uproarious playing the role(?) of a sleezoid criminal shyster in the movie "Fifteen Minutes."
The surgeon says: "Surgery IS the oldest profession. God took a rib from Adam to create Eve and you can't go back further than that."
The architect says: "Hold on! In fact, God was the first architect when he created the world out of chaos in 7 days, and you can't go back any further than THAT!"
The lawyer puffs his cigar and says: "Gentlemen, Gentlemen...who do you think created the CHAOS??!!"
The only good lawyer is a... a... a...
Must remember my spiritual upbringing. Words of kindness only. Words of kindness only.
1) Defending a large corporation in a pollution suit where he knew they were guilty. 2) Defending an obviously guilty murderer because the fee was high. 3) Overcharging fees to many clients. 4) Prosecuting an innocent woman because a scapegoat was needed in a controversial case.
And the list went for quite awhile.
The lawyer objects and begins to argue his case. He admits all these things, but argues, "Wait, I've done some charity in my life also." St. Peter looks in his book and says,"Yes, I see. Once you gave a dime to a panhandler and once you gave an extra nickel to the shoeshine boy, correct?"
The lawyer gets a smug look on his face and replies, "Yes."
St. Peter turns to the angel next to him and says, "Give this guy 15 cents and tell him to go to hell."
They called down to ground control with their list of demands, threatening that if their demands weren't met, they would release one lawyer every hour.
The engineer pulled out a calculater and said, "Exactly 4.00000.".
The statistician was feverishly working on his calculator and said, "I can't be certain but's somewhere between 3 and 5.".
The lawyer hadn't spoken so the bartender asked him again "How much is two plus two?".
The lawyer peered over the rim opf his glasses and said, "And how much would you like it to be?".
“That’s odd,” said St. Peter, “according to the hours you’ve billed you’re 119 years old.”
Without hesitation St. Peter says. "Follow the gold road to the first gold building on your right go inside take the elevator to the penthouse." the man walks off.St. Peter turns to the Pope. "And what did you do on earth?" "I was the Pope"
St.Peter sighs. "Ok follow the dirt road the first building you come to. You will find the basement door open. There should be a cot for you there." The Pope becomes furious. "Wait just a minute. I was the Pope and you let me sleep in a basement on a cot. Yet the man before me gets a penthouse." St. Peter leans over to the Pope. "Listen this is heaven I already got 132 Popes that's the first Lawyer."
The lawyer thought for a moment and said, “What’s the catch?”
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