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RELIGIOUS MERGER CREATES 900 MILLION HINJEWS
SW ^

Posted on 05/23/2002 3:10:57 PM PDT by Sir Gawain

RELIGIOUS MERGER CREATES 900 MILLION HINJEWS

Attainment of Nirvana Still Goal, But Not So Important
That You Should Miss Cousin Vijay's Bar Mitzvah

New Delhi, India (SatireWire.com) — Hinjew leaders today conceded the merger of Hinduism and Judaism has not worked out as planned, as instead of forming a super-religion to fight off the common Islamic enemy, they had instead created a race of 900 million people who, no matter how many times they are reincarnated, can never please their mothers.

"On paper, this was a textbook alliance — two smaller competitors join forces to take on a larger adversary," said New Delhi resident Chandra Gopan. "But the synergies are just not there. For instance, I still believe I must pursue my own dharmic path to ultimate happiness, but when I get there, I just know my mother will find something wrong with it."

What? What?

Military officers, in particular, have found assimilation difficult. "We were all excited at first, especially about the Kama Sutra parts, but it's not going to work," Israeli Col. Benyamin Telluk said at a joint press conference with Indian officers. "I mean, just this morning, I was showing Col. Bhadrak here pictures of my family, and he said my wife was a cow."

"I said his wife reminds me of a cow," Bhadrak explained.

"Oh, you've said it again!" screamed Telluk.

"It's a compliment!" answered Bhadrak.

Hinjews across the world, meanwhile, said they also were too busy dealing with integration to worry about Pakistanis, Palestinians, or any other opponents.

"Surprisingly, it's not the big issues, like is there one God or are there many? It's the little things," said New York City Hinjew Nathan Feldman. "Like my Hindu half acknowledges that this world is full of suffering, but my Jewish half just goes on and on about it."

SO, WHAT'S WRONG WITH A NICE HINJEW GIRL?

However, most agreed that even if other issues could be overcome, maternal obstacles to Hinjuism would always exist.

"Yesterday, my former self was killed in a car accident," said the late Gori Bhupendra of Madras. "But I had good karma, so I was reincarnated this morning into the Vaisya caste. To me, this is a step up, right?"

But then Bhupendra's former Sudras mother tracked him down.

"She says, 'Oh, Vaisya now, is it? Very nice. Of course, your former brother is a Ksatriya, but he was always an overachiever.'"

Meanwhile, Muslim nations, citing the difficult Hinjew merger, said they have discontinued talks with the world's largest religion to form Chrislam.

"It wouldn't have worked anyway," said Imam Satra Mohammed of Damascus. "The first time we drank the communion wine, we would have all had to kill ourselves."


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:
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1 posted on 05/23/2002 3:10:57 PM PDT by Sir Gawain
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To: Victoria Delsoul; Texaggie79; dead; TomServo; nunya bidness; glock rocks; Rebelbase...
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2 posted on 05/23/2002 3:11:27 PM PDT by Sir Gawain
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To: Sir Gawain; swarthyguy
Is this satire or a reprint from a Pakistani paper?
3 posted on 05/23/2002 3:15:25 PM PDT by Shermy
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To: Sir Gawain
They had instead created a race of 900 million people who, no matter how many times they are reincarnated, can never please their mothers.

ROTFLMAO this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen here.

4 posted on 05/23/2002 3:15:43 PM PDT by weikel
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To: Sir Gawain
"Hinjew". Isn't that the name of Japanese baseball player on the SF Giants' roster?
5 posted on 05/23/2002 3:19:23 PM PDT by My2Cents
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To: Sir Gawain
If we Christians don't merge with the Buddhists, were totally screwed now.
6 posted on 05/23/2002 3:22:29 PM PDT by dead
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To: Sir Gawain
Freeper Hall of Fame material.

Tandoori gefilte fish
Curried Matza balls
The line about mothers is priceless; "Even if i became a doctor....". Should be sent to all arab/islamic sites.
ROTFLMAO!

7 posted on 05/23/2002 3:31:42 PM PDT by swarthyguy
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To: Sir Gawain
bump.
8 posted on 05/23/2002 3:49:51 PM PDT by headsonpikes
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To: Sir Gawain
Why couldn't they have been JEWDUs?
9 posted on 05/23/2002 3:50:48 PM PDT by FReepaholic
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To: archy;mikeIII;Bulldog108;henbane;belmont_mark;happygrl;black_agnes;cinnamon_girl;veronica;keri...
zionisthinduconspiracyping!
10 posted on 05/23/2002 3:57:31 PM PDT by swarthyguy
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To: swarthyguy
LOL!

Thanx for the ping.

11 posted on 05/23/2002 4:03:54 PM PDT by BullDog108
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To: Sir Gawain
"Like my Hindu half acknowledges that this world is full of suffering, but my Jewish half just goes on and on about it."

The suffering you wouldn't believe---'Yada-yada-yada' {;~)

12 posted on 05/23/2002 4:21:35 PM PDT by d14truth
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To: smokeyb; dukie; Dales; mountaineer; prisoner6; AGreatPer
This is funny stuff 'ping'.
13 posted on 05/23/2002 4:24:31 PM PDT by Badray
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To: swarthyguy
ROFL! Thanks for the ping, guy. This is hilarious stuff.
14 posted on 05/23/2002 4:29:40 PM PDT by keri
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To: Badray
Oy vey! Veddy veddy funny.
15 posted on 05/23/2002 4:35:46 PM PDT by mountaineer
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To: SirGawain; Orual; aculeus; Lazamataz; Thinkin' Gal; Veronica; hellinahandcart; Catspaw


Sitting Shiva

16 posted on 05/23/2002 4:42:56 PM PDT by dighton
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To: dighton; aculeus; SirGawain
Very funny piece. Excellent one, dighton. Vedic you get the idea?
17 posted on 05/23/2002 4:47:40 PM PDT by Orual
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To: dead
Don't forget the Scottish Jews....the Maccabees!
18 posted on 05/23/2002 4:50:17 PM PDT by kaktuskid
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To: Sir Gawain
bttt - way to the top!
19 posted on 05/23/2002 5:00:47 PM PDT by lodwick
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To: swarthyguy
Hilarious!

Thanks for the ping.

20 posted on 05/23/2002 5:18:51 PM PDT by mikeIII
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