Posted on 05/09/2002 1:52:12 AM PDT by Snow Bunny
SAM is all cool, I shouldn't bust on him. The web-era corollary to the "Don't pick fights with people who buy ink by the ton" bromide is "Don't piss off people who have your picture and are masters with Photoshop." SAMs the best, except for Billie who's the best too, and I'd really like to let Registered, Lowbridge - and anyone else who can mangle and manipulate my image in a spiteful way - know how much I admire, resp - ok fear - them. ;^)
TLBSHOW doesn't have creative skills, but he has that picture of he and Ann Coulter heading out for their Junior prom date - and that's unassailable. I don't have that nuke to protect me.
1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
5. Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
8. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
9. School lunches stick to the wall.
10. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
11. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
12. The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED
1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2. One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
3. The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere...and let the air out of their tires.
4. Families are like fudge .. mostly sweet with a few nuts.
5. Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside.
6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
7. My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
8. If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
9. You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
My first wager there is the book on whether there will be a new thread on FR tomorrow dedicated to the horrific reign of Abe Lincoln: when the agents of Northern tyranny ensured that all Southern men were doomed to be eternally culturally sodomized, and forced into debilitating dependency on college football and automobile racing.
Harrah's has a Lincoln thread appearing tomorrow at 1-2 right now. Infowars, Twodees .... don't fail me!
I like that one.
A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?"
The teacher wasn't certain which it was. She divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class, and the other, of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand, decided computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
RadioFR on NOW!
"Unspun" with AnnaZ and Mercuria!
Tonights guests...RON PAUL, GARY ALDRICH, SHEMANE NUGENT and JEFF HEAD!
ON NOW!
Good to see you.
Hope things cool off soon...
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