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What a smooth talker... |
Posted on 04/15/2002 11:14:04 AM PDT by Hillary's Lovely Legs
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
10. Never lick a steak knife.
11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
12. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
19. Your friends love you anyway.
Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
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What a smooth talker... |
I gotta ask... are you gonna change your FR handle???
I claim I have learned that one, but I really haven't yet. Maybe by the time I'm 50 it will become reflex?
Shalom.
Shalom.
Inside every fifty year old, there's a 25-year-old asking, "....what happened??"
The biggest surprise I've had getting older is that inside you never feel much older than 25, no matter how gray and wrinkly you might be getting on the outside. And it feels like life's biggest tragic practical joke when younger people look at me and treat me like some alien life form (*don't* call me "sir", dammit) instead of just one of the guys who happens to have a bit more mileage on the odometer.
Note for the younger folks: The alleged generation gap looks a hell of a lot narrower from the upper end than it does from the lower end.
Next best-14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
My personal favorite.
because it tasted so good?
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