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To: chriservative
There are better ways to discipline your children than beat them.

You're right and wrong. I see by your profile page that you are rather young, and I'd guess that you don't have children yet.

I'd agree that some corporal punishment can be abusive, but there is also a place for it. For older children, a discussion and/or taking away privileges is often more effective. My teenager would rather be spanked, because it would be over quickly - doing without the telephone for a few days is much more painful!

On the other hand, you'd be amazed at the value a quick swat or two can have for a younger child!

I think part of the value of spankings at school was the "humiliation factor" - but then, I think a lot of what is wrong with children now is that we're too worried about their "self-esteem" and not worried enough about giving them a sense of responsibility and a sense of shame when they've done wrong.

133 posted on 04/15/2002 3:04:33 PM PDT by Amelia
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To: Amelia
You're right and wrong. I see by your profile page that you are rather young, and I'd guess that you don't have children yet.

That is correct ma'am, but it doesn't mean that my opinion is any less valid (not to imply that that's what you meant). I was pretty badly beaten as a child for the same reasons as set forth on this thread and for what? I never drank, I never smoked, I never took the car out, I always ate my peas (take that Homeschool Mama), I never did anything. And on top of that, I was a pretty sickly kid. I had heart problems and such. But as a first child in a household where my parents (God Bless them) were young and inexperienced, they didn't know how to handle the most benign of "infractions," if one could even call them that. It wasn't me that was out of control, as my parents would readily admit today, having had more children since - It was THEM. I was just a guinea pig. And while I'd like to think that I turned out okay, I know some issues I may have are a direct result of the "physical discipline" and I know I would be a heck of a lot happier if it never happened. Now granted, we're not just talking about a swat on the backside. We're talking about some more severe stuff. But as I say in almost all of my posts, beware of the slippery slope. Also beware that just because you think you're not hitting your child hard doesn't mean you aren't. The psychological effects are more damaging than the physical ones. For me, it got to the point where if my mom or dad raised their hand to run it through their hair, I would flinch all the way across the room. I was terrified. The only thing this form of discipline taught me was fear and anger. And it only ended when I fought back and believe you me, it was brutal.

I'd agree that some corporal punishment can be abusive, but there is also a place for it. For older children, a discussion and/or taking away privileges is often more effective. My teenager would rather be spanked, because it would be over quickly - doing without the telephone for a few days is much more painful!

Agreed, but I think taking away of privileges could be equally effective for a younger child. Its just like the death penalty argument. As a Catholic, I'm pro-life and no matter how much it may pain me to be anti-death penalty, I am. And the solice I find in this position is the fact that a lifetime in solitary confinement is twenty thousand times worse than death. A week without TV/video games for a young child is an eternity. The child would learn his/her lesson and thankfully, he/she won't flinch the next time you raise your hand to scratch your head.

On the other hand, you'd be amazed at the value a quick swat or two can have for a younger child!

Maybe. You could also be amazed by the amount of harm you could do as well. Its a crapshoot - do you want to risk it?

I think part of the value of spankings at school was the "humiliation factor" - but then, I think a lot of what is wrong with children now is that we're too worried about their "self-esteem" and not worried enough about giving them a sense of responsibility and a sense of shame when they've done wrong.

Well, I can't speak to the "humiliation" factor thing, as I've never been spanked in school. Like I said before, I wouldn't trust that kind of responsibility with a teacher. But think of it this way, if humiliation is a good way to teach your child a lesson, why not make him/her stand naked in the middle of the street with a big sign reading "I've been a bad boy?" That would be pretty humiliating, but is that the best way to handle the situation? Look at the very word "humiliation" and determine whether you would actually want to do that to your child in his/her formative years. I know I wouldn't.
156 posted on 04/16/2002 7:51:27 AM PDT by chriservative
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