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To: Quix
I've known a few psycholgists, psychiatrists and general therapists in my time. I don't hold the profession in very high regard. There are a few very good individuals out there though.

I'll spell it all out for you. My son is one of those kids who gets picked on. He is rather clueless socially. Teachers and school counselors told him that he ought to respond to the mean kids with "I messages". "I feel hurt when you call me names." How do you suppose that went over with the other 2nd grade boys?

If we were dealing with basically decent kids who from time to time forget to think about other people's feelings...well, maybe you could prick their consciences and make a difference. But many kids today are simply vicious. They are deliberately cruel. And I won't have some teacher serve my kid up on a platter to them.

71 posted on 04/20/2002 10:50:06 AM PDT by Dianna
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To: Dianna
STRONGLY AGREE WITH YOU ABOUT SERVING ANY KID UP ON A PLATTER TO JERKS.

I messages can be a start even with ragaholics. It takes a growing toughness to risk them and not cower. But the boldness to try is a beginning or to even imagine trying.

I was as you describe your son. Well into and through high school even. Even in college someone could look at me in the wrong way and I'd tear up.

I think an older brother mentor is really crucial in such situations. mentoring, teaching, training, leading the kid into stronger self confidence and stronger courage with skills to stand up when fitting and to run with a clear conscience when wise.

Some of the jerks are plain evil from evil homes with lots of evil training. "I" messages will not do it and certainly not alone. BUT WHAT legally viable in our culture WILL?

These kids and their parents need some island somewhere to be reborn as human beings and trained more that way through age 35 or so. Otherwise, sociopaths is probably the best hope they have for a life category.

It's POSSIBLE that clusters of weaker kids could start to form and support one another--either spontaneously or with some older, social star kids making such happen with some wise faculty support. It's possible for jock stars who aren't being jerks--there sometimes are a few--could step in as overt protectors and defenders giving the weaker sorts space to toughen up.

You have other suggestions?

I still don't see this program per se offering anyone up on a plate to the jerks. Instead, I see it increasing the likelihood across the board that some kids' self-esteem will be much better able to resist--at least inwardly--the messages the jerks repeatedly try to beat into others that the victims are as much schmucks as the violent prone feel and act like they are.

Yeah, I wouldn't cross the street to greet a lot of therapists--particularly secular types. I was the token Christian at my Grad school. But I have met a few good secular types and a few good Christian types. It helps to have some humility and a huge heart that heals quickly.

74 posted on 04/20/2002 12:06:39 PM PDT by Quix
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