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Warm embrace for kids, or merely a psycho cry fest
The Seattle Times ^ | Wednesday, April 10, 2002 - | Keith Ervin

Posted on 04/10/2002 9:29:38 AM PDT by TheErnFormerlyKnownAsBig

Sitting in small circles, their knees touching, students shared their own hurt and the pain they had inflicted on others.

The tears flowed. In some groups, half the Washington Middle School students were crying at once.

Applause followed, as the seventh- and eighth-graders stepped up to roving microphones and declared what they would do to mend broken relationships with their schoolmates.

Two boys shook hands after one apologized for making fun of the other, and said he hoped to be more supportive.

A girl owned up to snubbing an old friend. "I'm sorry that I've been very distant and that I've chosen other friends in school," she said. "I'm going to work on that, and I'm going to be a better friend."

The girls embraced.

Challenge Day, a workshop aimed at creating a safe school environment free of teasing and harassment, has come to Seattle public schools.

Students and staff members were effusive in their praise for the fast-growing program. Nearly 300 students from Washington and Meany middle schools participated in three daylong sessions last week.

But the emotional intensity of the workshops — and their promotion of encounter-style seminars by a controversial for-profit company — have led critics to suggest the schools have strayed into inappropriate areas.

Challenge Day participants received information packets about a seminar offered in Seattle next month by Resource Realizations, a Scottsdale, Ariz., company best known for its work in residential behavior-modification programs for troubled teens. The company's seminars also were plugged at free parent workshops in the schools.

The Rev. Ron Davis, pastor of Magnolia Presbyterian Church and the father of a Washington eighth-grader who did not attend Challenge Day, said he was concerned about the involvement of Resource Realizations.

"You open the door, you make kids vulnerable, you hand them off to Resource Realizations. I find that unacceptable," Davis said.

Last week's workshops, described by one student as "a psycho cry fest," were the first joint venture involving Resource Realizations, the separate, nonprofit Challenge Day organization, graduates of Resource Realizations seminars, and public schools.

Washington Principal Marilyn Day said she had been unaware of Resource Realizations' partnership with Challenge Day but did not view the workshops as attempts to recruit students to seminars. She said families won't sign up for seminars if they feel they are inappropriate.

Meany Middle School Principal Christi Clark could not be reached for comment.

Superintendent Joseph Olchefske said he had little information about the events and expects middle-schools director Donna Hudson to speak with the principals after spring break.

Olchefske noted that Seattle schools are allowed considerable discretion in deciding what is beneficial for students and are encouraged to form partnerships with outside groups. However, "Clearly, the idea of marketing through kids is something we frown on," he said.

A letter from Resource Realizations founder David Gilcrease to the parents of Challenge Day participants said "the next step for your teen" is the company's three-day, $295 Teen Discovery seminar. Brochures were provided for a May 3-5 seminar at the Ramada Inn on Northgate Way.

"While Challenge Day is a critical first step, a one-day learning experience only goes so far," Gilcrease wrote. "To create truly lasting transformation in their lives, most teens need more."

Critics have accused Resource Realizations' seminars, like the better-known est and Lifespring trainings of the 1970s, of "brainwashing" participants. Gilcrease was a Lifespring facilitator for five years before starting his own company in 1986.

Resource Realizations is a defendant in several lawsuits in which parents claim their children were emotionally abused by seminar facilitators or staff at behavior-therapy facilities where teen seminars are held. The company denies the allegations.

Until now, the seminars have been pitched primarily to teens and parents of teens in the five member programs of the St. George, Utah-based World Wide Association of Specialty Programs.

The pilot program in Seattle is the first step in bringing the seminars to a larger market.

Gilcrease said the new approach offers "a huge potential growth area" for his $2 million-a-year company, but the motivation isn't financial.

"We make pretty good money. I don't need money. We want to make a difference. We've got some serious problems here," Gilcrease said.

Family Visions Foundation, created by seminar graduates, paid nearly $10,000 for the middle schools' Challenge Days as part of an effort to reach a broader range of families, including those not in crisis, said Family Visions board member Michele Anciaux Aoki, who arranged the Washington and Meany workshops.

"It's been a gift to our family," Aoki said of the seminars she has attended with her husband since she took her struggling 16-year-old son to Spring Creek Lodge in Thompson Falls, Mont., three years ago.

Aoki, co-president of the Parent Teacher Student Association at Washington Middle School, is one of many parents who credit the seminars with motivating their children to straighten up and with bringing families back together.

Mort Hurt, who went through seminars to support his daughter nine years ago, called it "a life-changing experience. ... If we had a program like this worldwide, we wouldn't be having the problems we face today."

Schools, eager to find antidotes to the damaging effects of cliques, bullying, and drug and alcohol abuse, have embraced Challenge Day in growing numbers. St. Joseph School in Seattle offered the program to sixth- through eighth-graders in February.

Challenge Day, created in 1987 by teen intervention counselors Yvonne and Rich St. John-Dutra, has expanded rapidly since a story about it appeared in the best-selling book "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul." The organization's headquarters are in Martinez, Calif.

At Washington Middle School's Challenge Day, students stood behind a blue line stretched across the large social hall in St. Joseph Church on Capitol Hill.

Students and staff members silently crossed the line if various life experiences applied to them. Have you or a friend or family member faced a problem with alcohol or drugs? Has a loved one died of a serious illness? Has one been beaten or killed?

Have you contemplated suicide or known someone who killed himself? Have you ever been teased because you were considered too skinny? Too fat?

Have you been poor, homeless or on welfare?

Students reflected on what they had learned, then made public apologies to their schoolmates.

After the final exercise — hugging as many people as possible in two minutes, to the theme from "Rocky" — eighth-grader Sydney Simon said of Challenge Day, "It changed me. I feel more compassionate and loving toward everybody. Differences don't matter so much anymore."

Her feeling was widely shared. One boy later told a counselor it had been the best day of his life; he felt as though 80 pounds had been lifted from his shoulders.

St. Joseph School Administrator George Hofbauer called Challenge Day "a phenomenally powerful experience" that made students more sensitive to their schoolmates' feelings. He said the school funded the program before Challenge Day and Resource Realizations formed their partnership.

Meany social-studies teacher Jamie Asaka called the experience "just fabulous." But a couple of students asked her, "OK, now we've opened up our wounds. Are we going to get a chance to deal with some of these things?"

Challenge Day was, overall, a very positive experience, but some parts may have been "a little bit too raw, a little too intense," said Meany head counselor Sally Graham-Hurt. School staffers are now discussing a possible follow-up program with the Northwest Family Visions Foundation.

Graham-Hurt said she had "twinges of discomfort" over the promotion of Resource Realizations seminars to students.

Some participants in those seminars have been offended by the experience. Clayton, Calif., piano dealer Kendall Ross Bean said he dropped out when he was told to affirm his trust in other group members by telling his "deepest, darkest secret" to the next person he came to.

Thomas Burton, a Pleasanton, Calif., attorney representing several parents and children suing Resource Realizations and the behavior-modification facilities that contract for the seminars, said one client was told to wear a sign saying "Slut" after she confided she had been sexually abused. The girl also was told to wear a fishnet top and assume sexually provocative poses, Burton said.

Founder Gilcrease said he was unaware of Burton's allegation and said such tactics would not be used in any of his company's seminars. "They're tough and they're fair and they're not about degrading people," he said.

Gilcrease also said the "script" for seminar facilitators does not include asking participants to reveal their deepest, darkest secrets. However, participants are encouraged to face painful truths that might stand in the way of healthy family relationships, he said.


TOPICS: Activism/Chapters; Culture/Society; Government; News/Current Events; US: Washington
KEYWORDS: cryfest; homeschool; publicschool
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To: one_particular_harbour
I think I am going to be ill


41 posted on 04/11/2002 7:50:57 AM PDT by NeoCaveman
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To: scholar
"A cat will live quite happily with food, water and an occasional scratch behind its ear with none of the other odious responsibilities."

Not my cat.

This is truly outrageous. Did these "teachers" keep the students from using the restrooms for a few hours so they could demoralize them?

42 posted on 04/11/2002 8:03:46 AM PDT by Slip18
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To: Slip18
they haven't met our cat :)
43 posted on 04/11/2002 8:08:19 AM PDT by TxBec
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To: dubyaismypresident
I wondered when you'd get around to that!!!!!!!

Very Appropriate.

44 posted on 04/11/2002 8:11:37 AM PDT by Gabz
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To: Gabz
Very Appropriate.

Thank you, thank you very much. I just couldn't hold it in any longer.

45 posted on 04/11/2002 8:20:19 AM PDT by NeoCaveman
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To: TxBec; Slip 18
they haven't met our cat :)

Well, now that you mention it--my cat does seem to think he is MY BOSS.

As for these seminars, I consider them a form of emotional abuse.

46 posted on 04/11/2002 8:43:41 AM PDT by scholar
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To: scholar;slip18

Our boss (the day we got her)

47 posted on 04/11/2002 8:59:47 AM PDT by TxBec
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Comment #48 Removed by Moderator

To: big ern
The tears flowed. In some groups, half the Washington Middle School students were crying at once.

Wuss.

Applause followed, as the seventh- and eighth-graders stepped up to roving microphones and declared what they would do to mend broken relationships with their schoolmates.

Next week...."stickboy...loser...pee-wee..fag..."

Two boys shook hands after one apologized for making fun of the other, and said he hoped to be more supportive.

Again..next week..."fag, loser, pee-wee, stickboy, fatass, buttdart"

A girl owned up to snubbing an old friend. "I'm sorry that I've been very distant and that I've chosen other friends in school," she said. "I'm going to work on that, and I'm going to be a better friend."

Next week...another diss.

Washington and Meany middle schools
Bwhahahah

But the emotional intensity of the workshops — and their promotion of encounter-style seminars by a controversial for-profit company — have led critics to suggest the schools have strayed into inappropriate areas.

And the Pink Floyd song MONEY says it all.

Last week's workshops, described by one student as "a psycho cry fest,"

I'm probably related to him.

"We make pretty good money. I don't need money. We want to make a difference. We've got some serious problems here," Gilcrease said.

Bwhahahahh.(cough Cough...Bull@##^)

Mort Hurt, who went through seminars to support his daughter nine years ago, called it "a life-changing experience. ... If we had a program like this worldwide, we wouldn't be having the problems we face today."

This reminds me of those infomercial ads for psychic network. This has changes my life. Weak minds.

Schools, eager to find antidotes to the damaging effects of cliques, bullying, and drug and alcohol abuse,

Cliques have been around since the beginning of time. Once I got to college, it was viewed as BS and it was all ended. Bullies have been around for ever, and will be around. Same with drinking and drugs.

Have you ever been teased because you were considered too skinny? Too fat?
Uhhh, isn't that everybody.

Have you been poor, homeless or on welfare?
Gee, leave yourself open to more zingers.

Students reflected on what they had learned, then made public apologies to their schoolmates.

(sniff) Sorry....I love you man....You're not getting my Bud Lite.(I had to fit that in)

After the final exercise — hugging as many people as possible in two minutes, to the theme from "Rocky" — eighth-grader Sydney Simon said of Challenge Day, "It changed me. I feel more compassionate and loving toward everybody. Differences don't matter so much anymore."

..and easy way to pick up chicks.

Her feeling was widely shared. One boy later told a counselor it had been the best day of his life; he felt as though 80 pounds had been lifted from his shoulders.

Psychic Friends network again?

St. Joseph School Administrator George Hofbauer called Challenge Day "a phenomenally powerful experience" that made students more sensitive to their schoolmates' feelings.

(Puke) Feelings. My feelings get hurt every tax day.

But a couple of students asked her, "OK, now we've opened up our wounds. Are we going to get a chance to deal with some of these things?"

That's the smartest thing I've read in the whole article.

49 posted on 04/11/2002 10:34:22 AM PDT by Dan from Michigan
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To: kevinjdeanna, nonliberal, PurVirgo, smith288, Tomalak, WillaJohns, Yellow Rose of Texas, GADIST64
ping
50 posted on 04/11/2002 2:02:05 PM PDT by madfly
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To: big ern
I came across this recently. Does anyone know more about it?

-----------------------------------------

HATCH AMENDMENT LETTER

From:______________________________________________
Address: ___________________________________________________________
To:_______________________________________________ Principal of ___________________________________________________ School
____________________________, ______________________, USA
Dear ________________________:
I am the parent of_____________________ who attends _____________________ school. Under U.S. legislation and federal court decisions, parents have the primary responsibility for their children's education, and pupils have certain rights which the school may not deny.

Parents have the right to be assured their children's beliefs and moral values are not undermined by the schools. Pupils have the right to have and to hold their values and moral standards without direct or indirect manipulations by the schools through the curricula, textbooks, audio-visual materials or supplementary assignments.

Under the Hatch Amendment, I hereby request that my child NOT be involved in any school activities or materials listed unless I have first reviewed all the relevant materials and have given my written consent for their use:

Psychological and psychiatric treatment that is designed to affect the behavioral, emotional, or attitudinal characteristics of an individual or designed to elicit information about attitudes, habits, traits, opinions, beliefs or feelings of an individual or group;

Values clarifications, use of moral dilemmas, discussion of religious or moral standards, role-playing or open-ended discussions of situations involving moral issues, and survival games including life/death decision exercises;

Contrived incidents for self-revelation; sensitivity training, group encounter sessions, talk-ins, magic-circle techniques, self-evaluation and auto-criticism; strategies designed for self-disclosure including the keeping of a diary or a journal or a log book;

Sociograms, sociodrama; psychodrama; blindfold walks; isolation techniques;

Death education, including abortion, euthanasia, suicide, use of violence, and discussions of death and dying;

Curricula pertaining to drugs and alcohol; Nuclear war, nuclear policy and nuclear classroom games; Globalism, one-world government or anti-nationalistic curricula; Discussion and testing on interpersonal relationships; discussions of attitudes toward parents and parenting;

Educating in human sexuality, including pre-marital sex, contraception, abortion, homosexuality, group sex and marriages, prostitution, incest, bestiality, masturbation, divorce, population control, and roles of males and females; sex behavior and attitudes of student and family;

Pornography and any materials containing profanity and/or sexual explicitness;

Guided-fantasy techniques; hypnotic techniques; imagery and suggestology;

Organic evolution, including Darwin's theory; Discussions of witchcraft, occultism, the supernatural, and mysticism; Political and/or religious affiliations of students or family; income of family; Non-academic personality tests; questionnaires of personal and family life attitudes. The purpose of this letter is to preserve my child's rights under the Protection of Pupil Rights Amendment (The Hatch Amendment) to the General Education Provisions Act, and under its regulations as published in the Federal Register of September 6, 1984, which became effective November 12, 1984.

These regulations provide a procedure for filing complaints first at the local level, and then with the U.S. Department of Education. If a voluntary remedy fails, federal funds can be withdrawn from those in violation of the law. I respectfully ask you to send me a substantive response to this letter attaching a copy of your policy statement on procedures for parental permission requirements, to notify all my child's teachers, and to keep a copy of this letter in my child's permanent file.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Signed this ___________ Day of __________,200__ .

51 posted on 04/13/2002 9:39:38 PM PDT by Motherhood IS a career
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To: big ern
Thomas Burton, a Pleasanton, Calif., attorney representing several parents and children suing Resource Realizations and the behavior-modification facilities that contract for the seminars, said one client was told to wear a sign saying "Slut" after she confided she had been sexually abused. The girl also was told to wear a fishnet top and assume sexually provocative poses, Burton said.

This goes beyond loser sociology/psych majors with inflated egos and low self-esteem trying to compensate for not studying something real in college like physics.

This is having kids act out somebody's perversions...

52 posted on 04/19/2002 9:53:31 AM PDT by maxwell
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To: big ern
DEPENDING ON WHO'S FACILITATING, LEADING IT, I'M FOR IT. Even if a small proportion of the kids carry something lastingly constructive away from such times, it would be well worth it.
53 posted on 04/19/2002 9:56:34 AM PDT by Quix
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To: noexcuses
MANY KIDS CAN'T READ AND/OR CAN'T RETAIN WHAT THEY READ BECAUSE THEY HAVE TOO MUCH EMOTIONAL ANGST THAT THEY CARRY AROUND WITH THEM ****ALL**** THE TIME.

Parents should solve such and prevent such problems. They aren't--by legions.

Churches should step up to the plate and prevent, cure such problems. They aren't, wholesale.

I'd prefer to see a number of alternatives but I'm thankful someone has started this.

54 posted on 04/19/2002 9:58:55 AM PDT by Quix
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To: big ern
anyone who sends their kids to public schools should have their head examined.
55 posted on 04/19/2002 10:07:56 AM PDT by Capt.YankeeMike
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To: big ern
Perhaps you have never experienced significant change via such a process--in yourself nor in someone you love.

With 3,000+ hours of group experience--a chunk of them at a Navy human relations project in the 70's as well as some church connected ones--I assure you lasting change does occur. There are many factors that contribute to lasting or little lasting change.

But in any standard school, there should be many stories, real tear jerking stories of lasting, memorable, growthful, overcoming change. I salute them.

Perhaps you are unaware of persistent research findings that EXTREMELY DISADVANTAGED kids can turn out to be paragons of success. And they persistently trace it to incredibly sparse encouragements--ONE TIME IN THEIR LIVES WHEN ****ONE**** TEACHER SAID SOMETHING AFFIRMING that demonstrated the teacher really cared.

I encourage you to get a cynicism check, if not a colonic removal of same [joke].

I agree the schools are a mess. Society's a mess. The NEA is guilty a million times over of working overtime to destroy our culture, our families, our lives, our nation. I have plenty of cynicism of my own to keep in check.

But when something praiseworthy occurs, I think we need to encourage it instead of just reflexively throw rocks.

56 posted on 04/19/2002 10:17:58 AM PDT by Quix
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To: Quix
ONE TIME IN THEIR LIVES WHEN ****ONE**** TEACHER SAID SOMETHING AFFIRMING that demonstrated the teacher really cared.

Alrighty! So let's insist the teachers find one positive thing to say about each student, once per week. And leave the pseudo-psycho BS out.

57 posted on 04/19/2002 10:41:19 AM PDT by Dianna
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To: Dianna
There appear to be a lot of other trauma fed youth for whom one affirming comment is grossly insufficient--for unclear reasons.

Which part(s) do you deem "pseudo-psycho BS?"

What is so threatening to you about increasing communication? What is so awful about someone coming in and facilitating people applying more of the Golden Rule in the school relationships and getting students to speak it, act such out? Obviously horribly subversive stuff, that.

58 posted on 04/19/2002 10:50:28 AM PDT by Quix
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To: Quix
What is so threatening to you about increasing communication? What is so awful about someone coming in and facilitating people applying more of the Golden Rule in the school relationships and getting students to speak it, act such out? Obviously horribly subversive stuff, that.

Because they are NOT QUALIFIED to dig into the psyche of these kids. They are screwing with their heads, not just teaching them to be honest.

And why because I think this is BS does that mean I am "threatened" by it? Another a-hole liberal trying to intimidate me into shutting up?

59 posted on 04/19/2002 11:33:17 AM PDT by Dianna
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To: Dianna
What is so threatening to you about increasing communication? What is so awful about someone coming in and facilitating people applying more of the Golden Rule in the school relationships and getting students to speak it, act such out? Obviously horribly subversive stuff, that.

Because they are NOT QUALIFIED to dig into the psyche of these kids. They are screwing with their heads, not just teaching them to be honest.

Welllllll, it sounds to this psychologist like they are doing a pretty good job OF HELPING SOME OF THE KIDS FINALLY GET THEIR HEADS SCREWED ON ****RIGHT**** regardless of a huge chunk of routine disconfirmation as their lot in life.

The kids' psyche's would be much MORE MANGLED WITHOUT SUCH.

By the way, what are YOUR qualifications for judging someone else's psyche mangling?

How often do you talk REALLLL VULNERABLY HEART TO HEART TO kids of such ages? How candid do you think such kids are with you? . . . say for a baseline on awareness, here.

And why because I think this is BS does that mean I am "threatened" by it?

A) Because your responses are more emotional outrage than reason.
B) Because of the subtle nuances in your wording and the general tone, flavor of your responses. C) Because your outrage, indignation seem to be fairly tenacious. D) Because of your quick resort to name calling.

Of course threatened can mean many things.

Another a-hole liberal trying to intimidate me into shutting up?

I've been virtually hyperconservative every minute of my 55 years. Some would agree about your label . . . usually the ones who don't appreciate a spade being called a spade. . . . many whould not . . . usually those who bother to get to know me and a few thousand who've been helped significantly from their interactions with me.

Of course, if calling me names helps you feel less threatened, please help yourself.

60 posted on 04/19/2002 11:50:57 AM PDT by Quix
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