I was addicted to Adrenilian (sp)I thrived on the high of excietment and living close to death. For a 20 yr.old warrior it was the experience of a lifetime...unfortunetly also is the fact that from that moment on we will never do anything as meaningful for the rest of our lives. Its not about wanting to start killing again...its about wanting to feel "really" alive again. I understand exactly what you are saying and agree with you. However, from a practical perspective I wouldn't put others at risk by actually being dropped in a hot zone again. Those 20 year old warriors would be taking care of a crippled up old man, instead of focusing on their own assignments.