"Conservatives: Self-hating moral relativists...but privately engages in sodomy...nearly every conservative aspires to be so...Conservatives have no volume control on their hate...Pen their "thinkers"...rather than let them interact with people who might oppose their views"
"Libertarians: ...currently punishing the rest of us...Easily offended; Libertarians most likely to respond to this column."
LIBERTARIANS/CONSERVATIVES:...The author will attempt to engage subtle wit but will actually come across as a geeky whiner (Conservatives, more schooled in the art of poisonous replies, may actually achieve wit; liberals will reply that they don't find any of this humorous at all). Libertarians secretly worried that ultimately someone will figure out the whole of their political philosophy boils down to "Get Off My Property"
Let me take a guess. The liberals are right and have useful goals, the conservatives are self-hating moralists that "hate", and the libertarians are only concerned about "their" property.
Full of hate and pretending to be open-minded, got to be a liberal infiltrator.