Be a quitter! Rebecca Hagelin urges mommy's to reconsider their life's mission

That's right. If you're a mother with young children who also works outside the home for more than a few hours a day, but you have a husband that works, you should quit your job.

Although my message is not politically correct and probably sounds "sexist," "judgmental" and "preachy," my purpose is not to condemn those who must work, but to challenge modern thought with a concept as basic to child-rearing as a healthy diet: Quitting the rat-race and the race with "the Joneses" is crucial to helping your children win as members of the human race.

"I work because I have to," is the common initial response I get when I suggest that moms be quitters. "We need the money!"

Do you really "need" an SUV, a bigger house, or a second or third television? Do your kids really "need" the latest Nintendo, name-brand clothes or fanciest scooter?

Allow me to suggest something radical: What your children truly need is you. And, if given a choice between a new car or more time with mommy, mom would win hands down.

A toddler doesn't know or care if they have two pairs of shoes or five. A young child doesn't understand the difference between a Navigator and a Neon. Do you think an 8-year-old even knows who Calvin Klein is? If she does, then you definitely need to quit.

It's time to ask yourself what you're really buying, and why. Have you ever stopped to evaluate not just what you pay in dollars and cents for "things," but what you pay in time lost with your family?

There can be no doubt that the modern American family is in distress. With the pressures of dual careers, oftentimes no one is keeping the home fires burning. What families gained with an additional provider, they paid for with a loss of nurturing.

Gone are the leisurely family dinners and the important conversation that went with them. Children learn more from television, public influences and transient adult relationships than they do from their own parents. Spending less time each day with their moms, and more time with an endless flow of randomly-assigned teachers and "care givers" has left children of all ages hungry for the richness and depth of a fully developed mother-child relationship. Family members are like ships that pass in the night, often becoming lost in the fog of life only to crash on the reef of loneliness and divorce. Everyone suffers, and the children suffer most.

Women have made – and should continue to make – great contributions to the fields of business, science and education. I'm not advocating that these roles be abandoned. I'm advocating that they be partially set aside for a season. Women are particularly blessed with a life cycle that is composed of seasons. "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven" is a biblical truth from Ecclesiastes, chapter 3, that applies to all of life, and the evidence of this precept for women is quite obvious for all who care to see. When you experience the miracle and blessing of childbirth, when a hungry, helpless baby is placed in your arms, when this most precious and dependent of human beings is entrusted to your care, the season for mothering has clearly arrived.

Just as Spring, with all its beauty and promise is fleeting, so are the days of youth. Your children will be young only once, and oh, so briefly. Every hour away is an hour lost forever.

Don't buy the lie that "It's quality time, not quantity that counts." This is not an "either-or" situation. Children truly need and deserve both. Someone is going to be pouring their habits, values and emotions into your children. That someone should be you. Whatever financial sacrifices your family must make to enable you to raise your own children will be well worth the joy and memories for both you and your child – joy and memories that can't be bought.

Be creative in your quest for the "extra" income you want for life's little extras. Sell something – Avon , Tupperware, whatever. Start a home-based business. Write a novel. If you're a professional, try to become a consultant. Find a part-time job. Do anything you can to get ahead ... not in your career, but in your role as mom. Fight the system to be with your children. Think outside the box.

Make it your life's mission to be the mommy your children were born for you to be.

"It would be immoral for the couple not to support the family by any means sufficient, or to go on welfare simply so the mother could be at home with the children."

Funny how you started out accusing me of being "moralistic" and end up using morality to support your argument. The entire point of the subject article was that there are more types of support structures in a family than financial, and sometimes those other things can - must - supercede finances for the good of the children. Go on welfare? That's a heart tugging emotional supposition. How about sacrificing the second car, or eating macaroni and cheese four times a week. That's what some stay at home moms are doing so they can be there for their kids. You claim to be for self support and responsibility, but the only alterbnative you present to dual income parents is welfare. That's not just intellectually dishonest, it's intellectually lazy.

"Yes, and thus it [individuals who have not achieved their full income potential] would be a class of people.

OK, if you insist on seeing it that way, whatever. Lumping individuals with all of their diverse strengths and weaknesses into a class for the purpose of "helping" them is the very definition of socialism. And by its nature, socialism is intellectually dishonest - so there's a pattern here at least.

I'm a quitter. And my kids and my husband have never been happier. I'm still adjusting and learning to be a good stay at home Mom. I liked my 32nd floor window office (that I struggled for), eating out, having time to go to the gym and money to spend. It was definitely hard to leave. Yet, I knew that I needed to be more focused on my kids. (I don't believe the 90's superwoman myth anymore, if you juggle too many things you usually don't do any of them well). My colleagues were shocked when I announced my plans. But the most amazing thing is, my husband's career has soared since I quit work. I feel so blessed!

Actually, no. I have been with the company (retail) for years. I have passed up promotions but still do the work of a supervisor, for entry level pay. My human resources executive knows I am not coming back and considers this a going away gift. The only thing I actually get out of it is the continued (for four months) use of my employee discount--10%. I am not insured through my employer and I am ineligible for any kind of disability pay. And who knows? Down the road, I may want to pick up another evening or two--if not for the money, just to get out of the house and see some fresh faces.

You claim to be for self support and responsibility, but the only alterbnative you present to dual income parents is welfare. That's not just intellectually dishonest, it's intellectually lazy.

That's not what I said at all. My point is that both parents working is moral and better than going on welfare. Furthermore, if a couple decides that both spouses should work in order to support the family, that is their decision, and it is none of your or anyone else's business to suggest otherwise. Don't be an intrusive busybody like the author of the article.

Lumping individuals with all of their diverse strengths and weaknesses into a class for the purpose of "helping" them is the very definition of socialism. And by its nature, socialism is intellectually dishonest - so there's a pattern here at least.

I'm not advocating "helping them"--I'm merely advocating that intrusive busybodies mind their own damned business and keep their gulit-tripping attempts to themselves. If a couple decides that both spouses must work to support the family, that's nobody's business but their own.

"I'm not advocating "helping them"--I'm merely advocating that intrusive busybodies mind their own damned business and keep their gulit-tripping attempts to themselves. "

You are obviously not a parent. The "guilt tripping" nowadays is more often practiced by the daycare advocates who portray child rearing as a disposable chore that deprives women of their "fulfillment as productive members of the workforce." Home-parenting is becoming as reviled by the left as home-schooling.

And regardless of your opinion or mine, the daycare industry would become extinct overnight and home-parenting would again become the norm if government subsidies and tax credits (stealth welfare) were to dry up.

If all a mother's children are in school, there is absolutely nothing wrong with her working while they are in school.

What happens during summer vacation then?

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.