Following that line of thinking, you might also ask yourself if you were safe sleeping at night. Would you? He could harm your children when you were sleeping. Do you sleep in your children's room and not with him, perhaps bolt the door, set up an alarm?
Just what do you do?
Your write But I don't believe that means I can't understand some basics, based on common sense...
A big part of the problem in living with a mentally ill patient is that all common sense goes out the window. You can not react to the situation the way common sense would tell you.
When they are giddy and talking to themselves, what do you do? How do you react to it? When they see things, hear voices and then tell you about those things, are they just ramblings or are they something to take seriously? Remember, these ramblings are nearly every word that comes out of the mouth. The relativly sane moments are the exception.
If the ramblings are something to take seriously, then what? Call the police? I assure you the police - even if they did take the person into custody - will have them released at first light just to get rid of them. They are back at your doorstep. What next, a restraining order to keep them away?
Have them committed to a hospital? The hospital will only keep them so long. They will get them "stabalized" and send them home. Only you find when they get home the definition of stabalized is only one of the most minute degree.
Perhaps Rusty Yates should have given up on his wife. Called the police, sent her to a hospital, pushed her out on the street to become one of the chattering homeless you see walking around Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood. Many people in this country have obviously chosen the later. Maybe they were right too. They will never have to face someone saying they should go to jail for being complicit in a lunatic acting on the voices they hear.
No, I'm sorry, but your common sense does not give you the answer. No more than all the learning gave the doctors the answer to Andrea Yates. It is easy from normalcy to come up with an opinion. In this case though, the answer is very hard even if you have walked in those shoes.
First, you would not continue to bring children into the world. . .you would not leave the children in full custody of that person; to be cared for, nurtured and educated by that 'sick' person.
You would not ignore a total wreck of a home, while expecting that 'sick' person to be fully responsibile for all housekeeping tasks. . .
Of course their house was a wreck (described, I believe by a police officer as a 'pigsty')and would bet ol 'Rusty' never lent a hand; or paid for someone to relieve Andrea. . .
You would probably try and make sure that person stayed on their medication. . .you would make sure that person was not left alone with children; for even a minute. . .
There are so many things, he could have done to help Andrea. . .and to protect his children. . .and for all the ways he could have helped; Rusty chose not to. . .preferring 'his' way. . .
He left their 'pigstye' of a home that morning and probably every morning. . .clean shaven and off to work; he left his children with a sick, miserable zombie of a woman.
Can only wonder what he said to Andrea the morning he left for work; that convinced her, that her anger and the solution to it, was justified.
Did he tell her to 'clean up the house'. . .maybe; perhaps he expressed the desire for another child.
The only evident truth about 'Rusty'; who now says he is not sure he will stay married; because he needs a companion and wants more children. . .is that this excuse of man/husband/father is, in fact, a frightening, empty, disgusting human being. . .
. . .great sociopath however. . .
Having free afternoon I went a few days ago to the court to watch the public trials. In the room I went there four cases tried of the poor defendants with the same assigned lawer. All four cases were decided WITHIN ONE HOUR.
The one was against a clearly mentally sick man. He looked rather nice and friendly, was moving his body back and forth and his hands were in handcuffs. Judge (a woman) looked a him and asked if he was on the medication. He answer "no, you honor". She asked, "were you ever treated in the psychiatric institution", he said "yes, your honor".
To make it short, "his" lawyer wispered with the judge and prosecutors and then whispered with the defendant, the defendant asserted that he resigns from jury trial etc. He admitted that he believed the police report to be true (he did not remembered the actual event).
Judge asked if he is satisfied with the deal between prosecutor and defense, the defendant said "yes, your honor". And he was sentenced to the six months in jail. He looked quite happy and walked out escorted. The judge looked relieved, looked around the room and sighed.
What was his offence? He was homeless and "lived" around the subway station. One day he undressed himself publicly over there and got arrested.