Posted on 03/08/2002 7:00:34 PM PST by chance33_98
Try a Fanny-Gram!
Jacqueline Stallone has revived the ancient art of Rumpology. Just as your fingerprints, palms, soles, and ears tell a story, so does your rump. Or shall we say, your fanny. The lines, crevices, and folds of your fanny can, to the trained eye, reveal your personality, fate, and future in luck and love. So they thought in ancient India and Babylon and so today.
Send us a print of your fanny (a fanny-gram, if you will) by either using a photocopier or a legible ink print on white paper (please use washable ink). Include your initials and your date of birth along with a check or postal money order for $100, or use your credit card and our shopping cart (coming soon) to place your order on-line. All shipping and handling charges are included.
You'll receive a personalized report of 30 pages or more covering your journey through the coming year based on the pattern of the lines, folds, and crevices of your fanny-gram. We'll return your fanny-gram, too, which you may want to frame as a family keepsake when the fates smile on you.
Tea leaves, casting the bones, stars in the night sky - all have been used as a guide to the future, a beacon to show the way, and to impart confidence as we move forward into the unknown: your fanny-gram will too!
Jacqueline Stallone
PS: Is that the elephant man framed above or a famous fanny revealing its owner's fate? Find out!
Go to Catalog Order Form
$49.95 (S&H $10.00)
Price includes kit mailed to you with everything you need: paper, non-toxic ink, a 16oz. bottle of For Men Only lotion (for clean-up) and a return address sticker with postage. Only after receiving your imprint can analysis be done - your 49 page report will be mailed back under seperate cover.
Send your Fanny-Gram for us to read to :
Jacqueline Stallone
P.O. Box 491550
Los Angeles CA 90049
For more information:
Phone toll free (888) 780-9890
Fax (310) 451-8969
email: Jacqueline Stallone@jacquelinestallone.com
International calls-
(USA country code 1) 310 281 2803
Go to Catalog Order Form
Click for "Reports Menu" (if not visible at left).
P.T. Barnum is alive and well. This proves it. Well, for that matter so does Miss Cleo. I think I spelled that right.
Crock on, Alcuin.
Hell, boy, tell me about it WHEN THE COWS COME HOME!
Did you see the Rocky infomercurial on PBS where she CLEANS HIS GUB WITH DETERGENT!!! What's it gonna shoot--BUBBLES?!?
On the other hand, it WAS pbs. Prolly faked.
READ THIS!
Be sure to return your print by Express Mail so you won't get a false reading.
You are mr spike.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.