[SAMWolf]

Cover your walls with velcro, put your kids in a velcro suit and stick them to the walls.

[HiJinx]

Get some o' them NASA accessories from the local surplus store, and hook 'em up to the toilet...
Set up feeding tubes on IV Trees...
Put Hooked on Phonics in the VCR...
Heeeyyyyy, we may be on to something here!!!

[bettina0]

Put the little darlings in a bell jar until they reach 18 or 21, whichever is the majority in your state.