Posted on 02/23/2002 5:08:28 PM PST by Beata
Judge *Biltz* allegedly sells soul to the devil. Satan loses in Court. Congress members and spectators alike sat stunned as the Jersey Devil Satan, a.k.s. Mephisto, a.k.a. Nosferatus, the demon formerly known as the Prince of Light, testified in Congressional Hearing investigating the latest rush of Judicial Corruption in Jersey. There wasn't a dry eye in the audience as the King of the Pine Barrens shared his soul-breaking story of his dealings with the Judge. "I lost in Court" cried the obviously depressed poor Jersey devil. "The Judge promised me his soul plus an accued interest of many souls for Hell, but he just lied to me, to me! the Father of all lies. Me! Belzebub! I am more afraid of his black robe then he is of my red giant horns. I feel like I have been taken for a spin and can't stop spinning downwards. I have applied for a Restraining Order to keep this Man in Black away from me and my legions. I need protection against this Black Hole Universal menace. He's quicly swallowing up every living thing and all my demons too; he can do that and more with one single strike of his Case citations and Case quotations from his Black Law book! Who can stand up to such Axis of Evil? I have lots to learn from him. I am prepared to throw myself at his mercy so that I may be spared." Law Firm Embezl & Gorge, Esquires, were particularly upset at the news. "Millions of potential clients, especially in Jersey, now find themselves without a proper guide to Hell. Our 'Idiots Guide to Hell without return' legal practice is outdated now." "What's a poor devil to do when the Judge claims I sold him my soul instead of him selling me his own?" cried the distraught Prince Of Darkness. "How do I go about representing myself? Surely I can no longer afford an Attorney to defend me after the vicious counsel fees the Judge ordered me to pay up! After centuries of lucrative and successful soul-damnation business, I find myself in debt and at a loss! At least you all can pray for help. What in hell, in limbo and purgatory, can I do?!" After this tearful testimony another Judge expressed "deep distress about the tremendous injustice suffered by my dear old best friend, Lucifer, the devil formerly known as Abomination." One Journalist reports overhearing winning party Judge *Biltz* side conversation. He was quoted as saying: "That'll teach anyone to even try and expect to win me in any court of law. I am now total ruler and soon the one true King of Hell on earth! All knees shall bow down to me and soon I will sue God Almighty himself and he's as good as already lost and bankrupt." Criminal Prosecutor *Kisshisback* lectured Judge *Biltz*, saying: "I'd say you are better then Magician David Copperfield, except that you are a lot trickier! No one can see how your monetary levitation trick is ever accomplished, yet you do it every time, with a wonderful performance of building "mirrors & smoke" magic effects, yet invisible to the eye." The Judge declined further comments to the press. A moment of silence has been requested of all pagans believers on this tragic day. # # #
Please check it before posting another article. . .
;o)
Oh, here's your beloved paragraph. Use it well to clean your lenses. Paragraphs are best with a little salt and lotsa ketchup on the side, just like your usual french fries. Eat lotsa. Bon Appetit!
Bye, seeya (not). thanks for the laughs.
Instead of the tiresome, 'I can't take any criticism' rant, how about learning to get it right? How about recognizing that unformatted text is difficult to read, and a disservice to the reader? How about striving to do better the next time?
How about a positive attitude?
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