Men Paying on Dates: Women Love It, Men Less Sure

Reuters ^ | Friday, February 1st, 2002 | E. J. Mundell

[TexRef]

However, a group of young men watching the same interaction ''saw this guy as less respectful to the woman, less respectable himself,''

What a bunch of girlie-men. This is a direct result of the feminization of America...

IMHO, women that think that a guy picking up the tab is demeaning to them or to women aren't worth dating.

Interesting though that most women viewed it as a positive thing... Shows (to me) that most women still want to be treated like women, no matter what the FemiNazis say.

[cincinnati_Steve]

I've been on quite a few dates in my 36 years, and I have yet to expect a lady to pay for a meal, a movie, or a drink. Any guy who would expect that must fashion himself a "playa". This must be talking about the effete wannabes who go out with escort service hags.

[SoDak]

If I'm going out on a date, I pay. That's just the way it is. If a woman thinks that's demeaning, we're not going out again, ever. I'm going to open the doors too. That's the way I was brought up.

[ZOOKER]

Picking up the tab is definitely strategic thinking.

It's an investment with payoff to come later.

[camle]

I'm the luckiest SOB alive! My lady pays almost every time. She says it's because she makes more money, and because she doesn't drive. I think it's because she's nice

I help her on and off with her coat, open doors for her, help her sit down and walk with her up and down stairs. She says it's because I'M nice. I say it's because she deserves it, being a Lady and all...

what other folks think, I really don't gie a rat's Clinton about.

[jpl]

What a bunch of girlie-men. This is a direct result of the feminization of America...

I agree totally. Picking up the tab on the first date is always the gentleman's responsiblity, period. After the first date, if the lady is quite certain that she is not interested in him, her responsiblity as a lady is to simply not accept any more date offers from him. The sad thing is this will sound so quaint to a lot of people today.

[Judith Anne]

I liked your post. Of course, if the woman invites the man out (which I never did, it wasn't done in my day) she should pay.

I'd like to see the return of the traditional, here. I think if a fellow asks a girl out, knowing he will be paying for the meal and entertainment, he's more likely to pick someone that he has a genuine interest in being with...unless of course, he's after a quid pro quo, then I'd think he could get that cheaper and easier on the street.

[Reeses]

Maybe we can preserve the romantic script without undermining a woman's independence.

All throughout the animal kingdom the male "picks up the tab" on a date. This isn't a human only custom subject to PC modification. A bird provides a fish, the dung beetle provides a ball of dung, etc. The researcher has a basic misunderstanding of the birds and the bees. He must be a Liberal.

[Billthedrill]

The researcher is laboring under a couple of misapprehensions: (1) that a woman's self-esteem suffers when a man pays (did he actually ask any real, breathing, women?) and (2) that a man picking up a check constitutes a down-payment on a roll in the hay. The last may work in theory, but frankly, I haven't seen it work much in practice. I am not bitter...

my theory is that because men are the ones (typically) initiating this behavior, they might have--I'd hate to say it--some insight into some of the motivations that might be behind it. Perhaps they are seeing his behavior as a little more strategic.

Perhaps he ought to ask a few men, too. Better still, perhaps he ought to date a little himself.

[beowolf]

I totally agree. Anyone that let's their ego get in the way of a simple calculation of 'who can afford it best' is a fool. IMO.

[camle]

I agree with the hospitality angle more than anything. She shows respect for the expenses I incurr picking her up, keepping the cars up, gas, etc.. and she buys meals most (but not all) of the time. We have argued about who would pay (I'll pay,- no me!) but those don't usually last

but a meal that I pay for, I don't really give the money much thought. if it pays for anything (Besides the grub), it is the pleasure of the lady's company, period. To make other expectations is insincere, cynical, and explains why some folks aren't as lucky as I.

[Happygal]

``Interesting though that most women viewed it as a positive thing... Shows (to me) that most women still want to be treated like women, no matter what the FemiNazis say.

Yup :-)

[Tattooed Soul]

PING! How do you see it gorgeous?

[ValerieUSA]

I expect the man to pay if he asks me out on a date, and if I ask him over for dinner at the house, I buy the food.... and it's nice if he brings wine, but I don't expect it. If a guy is accompanying me and my kids on an outing that I suggested, then I pay..... but it's all been awhile. My memory is sprained now. *L* There's the demeaning part -- not being asked out.

[HHFi]

Could you introduce me to your friends?

[Reeses]

Anyone that let's their ego get in the way of a simple calculation of 'who can afford it best' is a fool.

A fool is a woman who mates with a male who cannot afford to provide for her and the children. If the male cannot afford to pay, he is not ready to start mating, and the female should reject him. Intuitively she knows this, though the existence of a nice welfare system alters nature's intention, and we end up with de-evolution (i.e. more Democrats).

[beowolf]

To me, it's rather simple. There have been times in my life when I was less than well-endowed in the financial department. Does that mean that I should have been deprived of female companionship? The concept is absurd, IMO. It literally makes the comapnionship of women a 'pay as you go' proposition. Women become whores because you are buying their time.

[beowolf]

Spoken like a dweeb that thinks their money makes them into a Brad Pitt.