[BluesDuke]

I feel so much better knowing that the Fred and Ethel Mertz Detective Agency are on the airport security. Let's see if I can figure out where their top crack agents are posted...hmmmmmmmm....thumbing through rosters....Oh, yes...here are their heads of security

Los Angeles International Airport: Top Cat and his gang.
Chicago O'Hare: Deputy Droop-A-Long
Dallas/Ft. Worth: Yippee, Yappee and Yahooey
New York La Guardia: Officer Dibble
San Francisco International: The Ant Hill Mob
Newark Airport: Dastardly and Muttley and the Vulture Squadron
New York Kennedy Airport: Punkin' Puss
Boston Logan: Elmer Fudd
Reagan National Airport: Yosemite Sam
Miami International: Secret Squirrel and Morocco Mole
Eppley Field, Omaha: Snooper and Blabber
Las Vegas International: Quick Draw McGraw
Dulles International: Huckleberry Hound

...that's what I can determine so far. Though I'm told Mushmouse is a prime candidate to head up security at San Diego's airport...

[SMEDLEYBUTLER]

"They just didn't know what it was but they acted like I shouldn't be carrying it on," explains retired Marine Corps Gen. Joseph J. Foss, former governor of the proud state of South Dakota, former president of the National Rifle Association, and former commissioner of the old American Football League.

None of these reporters do their homework. Foss left the Marine Corps following WWII and helped start the South Dakota Air National Guard. He was recalled to active duty with the Air Force during the Korean War and then returned to the South Dakota Air National Guard when he was promoted to Brigadier General. Former Marine, yes. Retired Marine General, no.

[Cosmologist]

Four years ago I was not allowed to carry as part of a tool box a hammer onto a plane in Houston Texas, However, a month later in Tucson I went through with a 67 cal. blackpowder cannon complete with fuse and balls in pocket!

I not only cleared once but twice in Tucson because I went down the wrong ternimal wing and once in Ontario at Skyharbor. Each time the screener said "Nice cannon" and two of them actually followed that up with could you please turn on your beeper for me and my computer!

The humiliation of receiving a Metal of Honor and being treated by these folks like he has no reason to bring on board his metal is obsurd!

That is why on the dashboard of my car is my 44cal. pistol with the following on the back window "Flag Waving, Bible Believing, Gun Carrying, AMERICAN" - and yes I live in California and drive 123 miles round trip to work each day. fconcepts@lasercom.net