Posted on 01/29/2002 10:45:19 AM PST by scouse
Telepathic Football Threatens Chilean Teens
VILLA SAN RAFAEL, Chile (Wireless Flash) -- Forget Bigfoot or the Mothman. The newest paranormal creature is a four-legged football.
Believe it or not, a creature matching that exact description has been sighted threatening teenagers in Villa San Rafael, Chile.
Researchers at the Calama UFO Center in Chile claim the mysterious menace has wings, a face like a large bulldog and is "shaped like a rugby football with legs."
Paranormal researcher Dr. Virgilio Sanchez-Ocejo isn't sure if the creature is one of those goat-sucking chupacabras, but admits both animals telepathically communicate with humans.
The winged football is just one of hundreds of strange creatures that have been terrorizing Chile since 1999 and Dr. Sanchez-Ocejo suspects the mysterious beings are entering Chile through a dimensional doorway.
Dearest Goody of timorous glances
T'was not douceur this invitation to coucher
with the gallant Captain of your ship
I did but offer solace for your soul
To show you wonders that cannot be described
To lift you from this earthly plane
And break the spell that binds you to this place.
Your Captain has the magick and the power
To take your spirit and join it with the greatest
Minds this universe has known.
But are worthy to be in your Captain's hands?
Are you a woman worthy to be wooed or a timid
Maiden who does homage to the magisterulus?
Playing childish tricks to affright the ignorant
Cautiously wallowing in the mud for lack of boldness.
I'll put it twixt my comely breasts,
and in safety t'will be held..
Ah! My little pirate wench
By your Capt'n you’ve been schooled
You can lie with the best of them
I think you have them fooled
But fooling them and fooling me
Is not what you can count upon
There will have to be some auditing
Of your little private Freeperthon
Holding all between your comely breasts
It is indeed a clever trick
But when we come to collect it all
How much of it will stick
Or slide down to another place
Where 'twill ne'er see light of day
How much of these generous donations
To your Capt'n pocket will find their way
But you Capt;n has been around the world
And does not pay you much
He saw a picture of a Pontoon boat
How can you afford such
For these things are not cheap
Indeed they cost a bunch
Where you got the money
I think I have a hunch.
So now my companion in crime
I do not want to be contrary
But show me where the money is
And sing like a canary.
I understand you apprehension for the apparent altruism of you Captain. If it were genuine it would indeed be a cause for concern. But this is so much so much mumbo jumbo, I must keep up this soap opera of concert party, pajama party, witchcraft and even predicting the end of civilization, as we know it.
Alarms and excursions – my good friend to cover up the fact that this pirate ship has never been to sea nor ever will. Stay well and don't tell anyone.
You have me rolling on the floor palo that was good. In it is simplest terms you are correct my dear but there was also mom's apple pie and the economy of the Napa valley the enjoyment of women and the top twenty, but that was only the tip of the iceberg.
Goody speaks French, I am sure she plans to have us all speaking French simply to confound us and spread confusion – and you can all see I don't need anymore confusion than I already have. Eventually she will take over the United States on behalf of Quebec. Apart from Habs who else would like that. ?
Mistress Goody? What is tri tip? I assure you.. a courtesan will always have heartburn... Look what she has to deal with every day... Think about it... Horrors... Of course, then there is my Capt'n... Mmmmmmm..
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