Cattlemans Dinner plus...
Posted on 01/29/2002 10:45:19 AM PST by scouse
Cattlemans Dinner plus...
And then, of course, there are people that want to conference in the middle of the night.... I won't name names, but they all begin A--h---. As in A--h--- Palo... A--h--- Habs, etc...
Needless to say, I'm still a little blurry-eyed...
This fairest of coquettes.
...believe her not!
Or trust her to your...sorrow
You see what we have here Gran – It is worse than I imagined Mistress Goody was in love and was put to death before it was consummated. That puts in her in the Wilis mien or worst. She wanders now to wreak vengeance upon the people of the earth.
Think what could happen now is she is rejected once again. By incantation, charms, and conjuring, other abominable superstitions and sortileges bring ruin upon us, cause to perish herds of animals of every kind, orchards, hinder men for begetting and women from conceiving, grapes wither on the vine, and frogs would sit in our throats. It is an assault upon freedom, democracy and the American way. No wine, women or song. No mothers and apple pie, and the quarter pounder would disappear from the land. .
But your good Capt'n has conceived of a way to rid us of these terroristic threats. It will require great sacrifice to turn things on their head. But your brave Capt'n has determined to sacrifice his body to take the wench to bed.
I know what you must be thinking my inebriated wench – why should your Captain be so selfless and make such a sacrifice. Consider dearest the material we have at hand – I will not mention names - but thinkest thou that any of my crew could carry out a mission of such delicacy and danger, or even has the cunning and the wherewithal. I see you laugh and blow bubble through your nose – you have your answer there. .
It is my solemn duty as Captain of this ship to protect all the souls that sail in her. Thus I must gird up my loins and, once more unto the breech I say, once more to send the earth bound spirit of this Goody wench, by magik of my own, to soar on the wings of doves, to the very gates of Paradise and free us from her thrall. .
If I should die in this endeavor – think only this of me; there is a corner of a foreign field that will be forever England. And carve upon my stone the likeness of a dove to signify I died for love……..of England, for all mankind, plagiarism, and the American way.
Don't stand there gawking girl – give out the AC your Capt'n Sa' is grievous sick and like to die ,not by you hand I hope, and you are taking a collection for the wreath and beer.
There is a profit to be made. .
you have made me feel much better,
and have kissed tears from my eye.
I'll try to curb my love to spit,
and read my book of culture,
but lhod my wily capt'n,
it's no doubt a uselss gesture.
For you know deep in your heart of hearts,
this wench she tends to wallow,
in tabaccy, sin, and thievery,
and the Grog she loves to swollow..
So, I can't pretend to be someone,
like the famous Mistress Goody.
I'd rather sail on the bounding main,
and help you gather booty...
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