The problem we keep wrestling with is socialization. There are few children in our immediate neighborhood, and we have no nearby family members with small kids either. We would try to get involved with a homeschool group, but, frankly, some of the people who homeschool strike us as fanatical, to speak charitably. I think many of the responses to your very thoughtful post more than confirm our worst nightmares.
Just because you find some homeschoolers to be radical you have doubts about your ability to raise your own children properly. Your first thought is that maybe the government knows best. You don’t belong in the homeschool movement because you want your children to be socialized into a liberal Marxist society. This is because you want them to accept what society has to offer. Many homeschoolers do not want their children to blend in with society, they want them to change it.
You have to ask yourself whose values do you want instilled in your child? You have a tremendous opportunity to mold and shape your child and prepare them for their future.
See my reply immediately above. Now, let's address the ever-present "socialization" issue.
First, read everything I wrote above. Still applies.
As far as our kids are concerned, I'll tell you that this was our biggest concern before we started homeschooling as well.
As it turned out, that has been the LEAST of our concerns in reality.
Kids attract kids. Now, we have a bunch of 'em. You don't. We have kids in the area. You say you don't (but you probably have more kids in your neighborhood than you sometimes realize). That aside, there are churches.......church youth groups. There's Scouting: Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Camp Fire Girls, etc. There's the YMCA. There are youth sports leagues. You get the idea. There are DOZENS of ways for kids to be with other kids.
In addition, my kids are very comfortable being with adults because, via homeschooling, they've had tremendous 1-on-1 time with an adult. They are used to talking to adults. They aren't shy, they show respect, and are at ease with themselves, their peers, and adults.
Don't fall into a trap that's laid out here by many who haven't the slightest clue what they're talking about. I DO know what I'm talking about on this one. They wish you to believe that public school is the answer to all of this; that little Johnnie or Suzie will learn such wonderful social skills in public school.
In this day and age, do I really have to tell you how full of holes THAT argument is????
Case in point: My 14 year old son. Great kid; truly a wonderful boy. Sharp, getting pretty tall and a good lookin' young man, so the girls are noticing him in a big way, etc., etc.......in his very first year of public schooling (ninth grade). He's even on the wrestling team and is doing well with that. Guess what lovely things his peers are trying to get him to do? Swear. Yep. They can't understand why he won't swear; he refuses to do it. They don't understand homeschooling, so they say things like "Bet you don't even know HOW to use drugs, do you?????" Again, you get the idea. THAT is what your kids' peers "teach" each other these days.
No, we didn't send our kids to public high school to learn "social skills"; trust me on that one.
You've gotta work at it. Commit. Put the effort into it. I recommend a curriculum from Christian Liberty Academy. We've used it all these years and it's unbelievably thorough, challenging, and highly effective.
Then get your child out into the world on a regular basis........not just to interact with other kids, but to learn about their world.
Not an issue. YOU and your wife are the most important "social" entities in your children's lives at this point. Jesus was treated with contempt for his lack of formal education, but he seemed to have learned something while hanging around with Joseph in the carpenter's shop! And no one would accuse the gregarious friend of sinners of being anti-social!
Seriously, though, the fellowship children hunger for most is with their own parents. Get that need filled, and they have all the confidence needed to take on the world with poise and tact.
The problem we keep wrestling with is socialization. There are few children in our immediate neighborhood, and we have no nearby family members with small kids either. We would try to get involved with a homeschool group, but, frankly, some of the people who homeschool strike us as fanatical, to speak charitably. I think many of the responses to your very thoughtful post more than confirm our worst nightmares.
Take a deep breath, keep an open mind. My wife and I continue to successfully homeschool all our boys - ages 3, 6, and 9 - and the beauty of it is that it is truly a vocation. Unlike public schooling, the educational approach of other children really doesn't have to have an impact on you and yours. We've mingled some with other homeschoolers, but not much. Our boys play with each other, with us, with a couple of friends at Church, with a couple of decent kids they bump in to at the library. And they don't suffer for it. The socialization controversy is overblown. Really, how many close friends from your elementary school years do you still have? Raise them well, give them access to the whole world through literature, consider yourselves to be on a adventurous quest of growth and learning. Homeschooling is the natural outgrowth of a good marriage - and is very similar in its mutuality. And like the blessings of a good marriage, the rewards and sheer fun of homeschooling are impossible to convey to those who haven't experienced it.
And I started out opposed!
The whole thing is that it reflects YOUR relationship to your children. So of course, inattentive, irresponsible parents will do it poorly. But I'm assuming you love and are devoted to your children. No State teacher will love them or know them like you do! It is SO much better for them that you be intimately involved not only in their schooling, but in their socialization.
Socialization was one of my bugaboos, because the first HS family I knew were hothouse-types, too good for everyone else. But, as I now know, that's just them. We've done it for something like 9 years, and our kids have been involved in church, art classes, dance class, karate, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts... they're "out there" fine.
I hope that, and The Writer's thoughtful response, help.
Dan