TEST YOUR SOUTHERNISM

01/17/01

[SAMWolf]

This test really can't be cheated on... either you know the answers or you don't.

One Yankee only mustered a 2 or 3, whereas the natives typically score around 20+. If you score over 50, you should be living in a trailer park with the Trans Am up on blocks!

Score three points per correct answer. You're given one point to start. Answers follow below, so don't peek.....

1) How many Vienna Sausages are in a can?

2) What was the number and color of Richard Petty's cars?

3) Bill Dance is good at what?

4) What university does Bill Dance root for?

5) Where did Herschel Walker play (college) football?

6) Afterboiling peanuts for an hour you have what?

7) In cubic inches, how big is the smallest 1966 GM small-block V8?

8) A Cajun is likely to speak what furrin' language?

9) What is a chigger?

10) What is scrapple?

11) Where is "The Redneck Riviera"?

12) What's that fuzzy stuff hanging off the oak trees?

13) What follows logically? Johnson, Mercury, ________.

14) What's the common name for a bowfin?

15) If you mated a heifer and a steer, what would you get?

16) Who sang "Your Cheatin' Heart"?

17) What are grits made out of?

18) Who was nicknamed "The Bear"

19) Why is the Blue Ridge blue?

20) What did The Baldwin Sisters make?

21) Who was Andy Taylor's love interest?

22) What are the radio station call letters that carries "The Grand Ol' Opry"?

23) Where would you find Vidalia County?

24) What sport requires 3 legs and a rope?

25) What instrument did Bill Monroe play?(typically)

26) How many strings on a banjo? (two possible answers)

27) When you argue with a fool, what is he doing?

28) What is a scuppernong?

29) Do you want the goats to get into the kudzu?

30) Why do you want to eat "high on the hog"?

31) What color is a John Deere?

32) What do you call the offspring of a mule?

33) What will you harvest when you plant "shade"?

[real saxophonist]

I bet #23 is supposed to be Georgia, but there is no Vidalia County. Vidalia (pronounced vie-daya) is in Toombs County. There are several counties in SE GA that grow Vidalia (aka yellow granex) onions.

I see there's no mention of Claxton Fruit Cake, or the Claxton Rattlesnake Roundup. Obviously, this test was written by a Yankee...

[TommyDale]

Many of us believe Webb Hubbell is the real father of Chelsea Clinton. The lips are a dead giveaway...and there is evidence of previous hanky-panky between the two former law partners, just as there was between Hillary and Vince Foster.

[real saxophonist]

Piggly Wiggly or Winn Dixie. I always thought it was funny in 'Close Encounters' when one of the trucks carrying the equipment to Devil's Tower was disguised as a Piggly Wiggly (Hoggly Woggly) truck. Ain't no Piggly Wigglys in Wyoming.

[lurkysis]

Thanks for the reminder---I spent many fun times at Gulf Shores during my high school years.

[Brookhaven]

27) When you argue with a fool, what is he doing?

A: He's arguing with a fool too.

In other words, your a fool if you waste your time arguing with a fool.

[2Trievers]

Not only do you talk funny, you spell funny ...

porch = Porsche ... LOL

I'll need to take you to a F1 race in Monaco, enroll you into a Skip Barber Driving school and then we'll talk ... GTO indeed! And I'll bet it's brown!

[girlscout]

Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs. They were bluegrass musicians that stopped by and visited Jed and Granny Clampett on the Beverly Hillbillies.

[kaylar]

52 pts for Missouri! (Is MO a border/upper south state, or part of the Midwest? The upper half is midwestern, the middle section is border, and the lower section (Ozarks) is southern. And I've in all three sections, as well as in New York, North Dakota, Nebraska, Arkansas, and Louisiana. I know my sections.)

[Taxman]

I talk funny? Jes 'cause I ain't no Yankee, I talk funny? LOL!

Lessgo, lesstalk.

Izza GTO, awrite. Blue with white top.

[2Trievers]

LOL

And it moves like a 1965 grandma?

You know, it's all what's under the hood ... and who's behind the wheel ...

[Taxman]

Waal, iffn grannies in a mood to go fast, it does!

6.7 liters of All American Muscle is under the hood! LOL!

[2Trievers]

320 hp ... 0-60: 3.7 secs

See ya' ... I never even use 4th gear!

[Taxman]

Yup. The C is a true thoroughbred & a very fast car.

GTO is different. Weekend Cruiser. A fast, comfortable, eye-catching reminder of a past era when the American Muscle Car reigned supreme. Runs well, handles superbly (I have upgraded the suspension & brakes), looks good, sounds good. Works for me.

[Cleburne]

Hey now, you must be some kind a underedercated Yankee or elsewise some kin' a underedercated Southerner. Andy had a couple love interests you know, dependin on which half of the show was on, and banjers cin have four, five, or six strings. Mine has four strings.

[2Trievers]

Different strokes ... does this mean you won't race me? &;-)

[Taxman]

YUP!

[2Trievers]

You're no fun! The whole culture of the South just took a hit ... there may be repercussions ...

[Taxman]

Actually, I have a lot of fun in and with my GTO!

I just do not race it anymore because it is too valuable to break or wreck.

I am no longer a Rodeo Cowboy, bordering on the insane! LOL!

[Phil Southern]

Around here (Alabama)"scuppernongs"(the right term) are really "scupnines". Many of you won't know what an "RC" (or SunDrop) is; they are "soda pop", you know, a "COKE". Please see the following; the references are a little over the top, but I have been accused of speaking just as everything is spelled. Phil Collards is green my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas. You move like the bass, which excite me in May. You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway. Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan. Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can. You have som'a yore teeth, for which I am proud; I hold my head high when we're in a crowd. On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms, well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms. Still them fellers at work, they all want to know, what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe. Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man, to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can. Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead. You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed. Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt. When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack, my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack. Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'. despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'. Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank, we go together like a skunk goes with stank. Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day; They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way. Some men git roses on that special day from the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say. Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth. "Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth. But for this man, honey, these won't do. Cause yo're too special, you sweet thang you. I got you a gift, without taste nor odor, more useful than diamonds... IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!! ------------------ Phil

[88keys]

LMAO! We love the Waffle House! Huddle House, too...we have notes on locations for our annual drive south...!!

Generally speaking, I got a fair amount of right answers on the quiz I think...is "fog" the same as "mist/haze"? and does English count as a "furrin' language" for Cajuns if French was my second choice?!