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To: dead
I don't see much problem here. OK some of the phrases are a little annoying (why can't she say "husband"?) but what's the big deal. Of course I'm coming from a similar side, I hate children, don't ever want to have them, limit my exposure to them as much as possible and married a woman with the same thoughts. And the amount of grief we get from others for it is insane. Regular nagging from our parents, regular devaluation of our relationship by people on FR (if I had $1 for every time I've read on here stuf intimating or outright saying it's not a real relationship without kids I'd buy FR from JimRob and ban everybody that posted that tripe), the constant "but why"s and "you'll change your mind"s (my favorite, I decided I didn't want to breed when I was 12 and 20 years later I believe that more strongly than ever). It's annoying as hell.

Maybe everybody that likes kids and wants kids should just learn to accept that theirs is NOT a universal belief and go on with their lives. None of "us" are trying to talk people out of having kids, why do "you" feel the need to harp on those that have decided the other way? Handle it and move on. Whether or not there is or ever will be a basinet in my house is nobody's concern but my wife and I's, much like the existences of a basinet in somebody else's house is none of my business. If anything the nagging and holier than thou attitude just makes us dig our heals in further, America is after all a rather free spirited country and American's a notorious for refusing to give into nagging even when they agree with it.

39 posted on 01/02/2002 7:11:07 AM PST by discostu
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To: discostu
I agree with you. Not everyone has the temperament to be a parent. Better to decline to bring new lives into the world you do not have the resources to raise properly.

And for those of you who call such folks selfish, tell me, is it less selfish to have a child only to lock it up in daycare soon after its born?

61 posted on 01/02/2002 7:42:10 AM PST by A Ruckus of Dogs
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To: discostu
I agree with what you said and I am a mother who never regreted having a child, through the good times and the bad times.
85 posted on 01/02/2002 8:32:08 AM PST by muggs
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To: discostu
Discostu,
I respect your decision not to have kids, and I would never ridicule you for it.
What really gets me though, is when some who make that decision, like the author of this piece, make nasty generalizations about children and having them. Children are gifts from God, and if people treated them that way, and raised them with that knowledge, like He intended it to be done, there would be less unhappiness in this world. The author clearly has no relationship with our Creator. If that relationship is working, then lifes' relationships generally fall in line.
105 posted on 01/02/2002 9:29:35 AM PST by PLOM...NOT!
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To: discostu
You have a point--the decision is a private one. But people react so strongly, I think, because even the majority of the people who don't want kids can recognize that it's something of a flaw in themselves...when you come down to it, things in this world seem to strike something of a balance when the natural laws are not broken--high cost yields great reward. Maybe your friends and folks just care too much about you to say nothing, yet don't have the restraint to say it tactfully. Nobody's perfect, I guess.
109 posted on 01/02/2002 9:52:20 AM PST by Pistias
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To: discostu
There are definately too many people having children today that shouldn't have them. This is a perfect instance of one of those people making the right decision for once. I may not like this woman's tone, but I, for one, am very happy that she has decided not to procreate. She sounds exactly like the type of person who should not be a mother. No one has focused on her most revealing comment, that neither her nor her "partner" wish to see her body torn asunder in childbirth. Wow, if she can't withstand a few stretch marks, I can't imagine she would be willing to make any of the necessary sacrifices required to raise a child in today's society. Please, the more people like this woman who do not have children, the better. P.S. I am six months pregnant with my first child and eagerly awaiting all the good (and not so good) things to come.
133 posted on 01/02/2002 10:57:10 AM PST by Freya
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To: discostu
Maybe everybody that likes kids and wants kids should just learn to accept that theirs is NOT a universal belief and go on with their lives. None of "us" are trying to talk people out of having kids, why do "you" feel the need to harp on those that have decided the other way? Handle it and move on. Whether or not there is or ever will be a basinet in my house is nobody's concern but my wife and I's, much like the existences of a basinet in somebody else's house is none of my business. If anything the nagging and holier than thou attitude just makes us dig our heals in further, America is after all a rather free spirited country and American's a notorious for refusing to give into nagging even when they agree with it."

With all due respect...GET OVER IT!

I have children, two of them, and you know what family still "intrudes". Let's face it, anyone who has family is faced with all sorts of "what will you do next questions".What you don't realize is that those of us with children get asked if we'll have more and why or why not CONSTANTLY and with children also come all the other little tidbits of "advice" about what you should or shouldn't do...breastfeed or bottlefeed, homeschool or ps, spanking or not, etc. As far as I see it childfree couples have it easy in this regard because at some point when you get beyond childbearing age, you won't get the comments anymore. Those of us with children will have to listen to other peoples' opinions for a lifetime. I say take it all in stride and if someone does it out of spite than you got bigger problems with that relationship than the nagging.

216 posted on 01/02/2002 1:50:35 PM PST by glory
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