[capt. norm]

Thought my fellow computer geeks might enjoy this.

[isthisnickcool]

P. T. Barnum was correct.

P.T. Barnum? Correct about what? That "there is a sucker born every minute?" If that's what's being referred to Barnum never said that.

[Libertarianize the GOP]

bump

[Lazamataz]

We stopped when we got a clean compile on the following syntax:

for(;P("\n"),R-;P("|"))for(e=C;e-;P("_"+(*u++/8)%2))P("| "+(*u/4)%2);

LOL!

[Jefferson Adams]

Creators Admit Unix and C++ a Hoax

I knew it!!! I knew it!!!

Actually I read this back when it was first written and LOL :)

[Scythian]

That article is complete hogwash, give me a break, only somebody who didn't know how many context switches a cross context call running in a COM+ distributed transaction would occur via a multithreaded apartment call to a single apartment object triggered would write such a stupid artcle.

[annalex]

I had to replace R- with R-- and e- with e--, otherwise it won't compile.

[SoDak]

Good one. My hop enjoyed it. As I configure my new RS/6000.

[SteveH]

I believe the part about Un*x being a practical joke; however, the parts about throwing in VM(TM), Pascal, C++, and (especially) Windows(TM) is clearly over the line and inappropriate in my opinion.

As for C, it is, of course, short for either "computer conspiracy" or "CIA", take your pick.

And we have already been assimilated :-/.

[Michael Barnes]

Creators Admit Unix and C++ a Hoax

I am not a hoax damnit!

[SteveH]

In yet another late-breaking development, U.S. Democrat Senators Diane Feinstein, Charles Schumer, and moderate Republican Senator John McCain released a joint statement calling for bipartisan support of their anti-terrorist "computer show loophole closure" bill, calling on Congress and the President to abandon right-wing Republican party reservations towards "bringing to an end the terrible costs to society of certain extremist elements" from using the Internet to spread "hate communication" across state and international boundaries and arranging for unregulated sales of illegal subroutines, military munitions-grade algorithms and NIC cards" with attached "crypto" coprocessors that have already been determined to be "contrary to the interests of the WTO and United Nations".

"It is obvious that these people harbor dangerous, terrorist tendencies and will require an expansion of funding into existing and new federal agencies to monitor and help combat the burgeoning problems of renegade computation and communication," a spokesperson for Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) said in a separate release in support of the new bill. The bill would make felonies trafficing of "late evening special" computer related products without a license, an "instant check" and a three day waiting period for transactions.

Attempts to reach representatives for the so-called "free software" lobby, GNU, for comment and objections by press time were unsuccessful.

[tophat9000]

You know in the movie "Independence Day" there was always the question how they could come up with a computer virus that would interface with and unknown alien operating system.

I always thought the answer was that Unix was the aliens operating system and had been revered engineer from the captured alien ship in the late fifty's.

I mean come on you don't think "grep" is a human command do you?

[strela]

We stopped when we got a clean compile on the following syntax:

for(;P("\n"),R-;P("|"))for(e=C;e-;P("_"+(*u++/8)%2))P("| "+(*u/4)%2);

If somebody held a gun to my head and forced me to choose which I hated worse; Osama bin Laden or REGEXP, my brains would probably be blown all over the nearest wall.

[Lessismore]

In fact, Unix would not have gone anywhere, had not the managers of Bell Labs Research convinced Bell Labs management to require the use of Unix for all standard development on DEC minicomputers, to the great consternation of all developers who had to write working systems to operate and maintain the former Bell System.

[parsifal]

Those interested in filing a CLASS ACTION against the hoaxers please contact me. I will prepare the complaint, etc., but I need someone to help me grep, grok, and grope where appropriate. parsy.

[peabers]

(copyright jmo 1991/1996)

I first read this in 1994. It's still just as funny.

[gcraig]

Ken Thompson, Dennis Ritchie and Brian Kernighan did not create C++, so the title of this article is incorrect. Those dudes wrote C. Thanks to Bjarn Stroustrup we have C++, and some of the most intense programming moments of my life in that language. It really doesn't surprise me that these guys would say this.

[TheOracle]

Unix story:

whereis biff? crypt at source. biff cut yacc tail, yacc cut biff finger.

"awk!," sed biff. "ar, ar!" sed yacc.

ksh, bash! man cut head, kill yacc at last, make strings.

exit crypt, find mail from su. od. "date? yes."

bif find su nice. make time, date. find su at wall. tee, talk.

ed: "tip: find jobs, biff."

"yes, make tar," sed biff.

su, biff date more: touch, strip, sleep.

"su, inetd perl," sed biff.

"yes!" sed su.